Monday, December 24, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Wich isn't rite cuz thare MY vixins, and beesides, he's got enuf to handul with that kyoot littul wench, Dazey.
Friday, November 16, 2007
But even tho Gordy (thank dog) is not in my category, I still have stiff competishun. Fur ixzampul:
So once agin this yeer, I'll have to put in my sorry plee for yer vote for Best in Show. Heer are the reezins yoo shood vote for me insted of Skeezix or Mao or Trip or any of the other entreez:
- I'm an old geezer cat. This may be the very last kontest I ever git to enter.
- If I win, win I'm having my pee problims, I'll be abul to think of thoze happy daze win I was the Werld's Koolest Cat, and it mite take my mind off the pane.
- Skeezix is only
23 yeers old, and he has abowt 2019 more chanses to enter agin before he dies.
- I pee a LOT, and that meens both freeqwintly and qwantitativly. So I need that yeer's supply of cat litter more than Skeez.
- Skeezix can go enter a cat show if he wunts to win sumthing. I'm a no-papers mixed breed frum the pownd hoo can't enter cat shows.
- Did I menshun that I'm an old geezer cat and this may be the very last kontest I ever git to enter?
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Anyway, I hope yoo pull owt of this, Sophie. And if not, thanks for saving me a place with lots of catnip cigars at the Bridge. Yer a grate old broad.
Catsters, yoo can drop by Sophie's Catster page and leeve her sum heeling thots and maybe a rozette ... I know she'd appresheeate it.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
As yoo can see, it's a vary prestijus award and I was vary lucky to win it. But if yoo didn't win it, it duzn't meen yer a loozer.
I'm going to nommynate sum of the blogs I like:
Caesar and Prinnie. Cuz thare geezers like me.
Bathsheba and Jake. Cuz 'Shebas hot and thare both geezers.
Sadie. Cuz she's hot and she looks ixzaktly like me. And her blog is good.
DaisyMae Maus. Cuz she's hot and almost a geezer, and she'd git mad if I didn't nommynate her.
Thanks, Black Cat! I'm going bak to sleep now.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
PEE ESS: All yoo mancats hoo volunteerd to help me judge the Spicy Vixin category in the Halloween Contest: yer in for a treet! We can set back in owr Hugh Hefner robes and suk on sum big catnip cigars and ogle until we go cross-eyed. I mite even see if I can git Bathsheba to do some pole danses. Maybe after we can drop by Da Bing. Thanks for stepping up to the plate -- it's a thankliss job, but sumbuddy's gotta do it!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
The prize will be the sponsership of a Best Frends cat in yer name... and probly sum nip, too. And maybey an invitayshun bak to my grotto: yoo know I'm sleeping on the peepul bed, now!
PEE ESS: If yer name is Halloween, yoo mite have an edje.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
The kleer winner with 52% of the vote was "Poetry, roze petuls, a fether bed and a ded mowse."
20%: Nip. Lotsa nip. Then thare even looser than uzhual.
16% Frank Sinatruh myoosik and a massaje.
10% No nip until after the luvvin. Otherwize she's too wacked.
If yer a spicy vixin, pleeze vote in my new pole at the top of my sidebar on the rite: How do yoo like to be wooed???
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
I'm pulling together a pirate krew to go with me to git that yappy littul dawg that came into MY BAK YARD today and throde me into the pool and SWIMMIN IS NOT FUN so I think that littul yappy dawg needs to walk the plank. And then I'm gonna feed him to the gaters and let him swim with the fishes.
Monday, September 17, 2007
OLD: Thare gratefull and not as uppity (7%)
YUNG: I like the newest moduls (7%)
YUNG: I like to kustum trane them (5%)
And I think if I'd blocked Mao frum voting, the "newest moduls" choice woodn't have gottin any votes.
Thanks for partisipayting in this edukayshunul pole!
Don't fergit to reespond to my new pole: how do yoo woo yer spicy vixins?
Monday, September 03, 2007
Yoo will need the Flash 9 viewer installed to watch this grate moovey... it's werth the downlode!!
The ferst cat hoo gesses wich of my ravishing spicy vixins I'm dansing with will win a can of Mao & Rocky's ® Vishus Deer Repelunt!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Rocky the Gutter Cat
4 letter word: Rude
Vehicle: Rambler ===>
TV Show: Rockford Files
Boy Name: Rascal
Girl Name: Rosie (rrrrr!)
Alcoholic Drink: Rum Runner (It helps loosen up the vixins. 'cept for Sadie and 'Sheba hoo don't need no loosening up!)
Occupation: Rock and Role Band Singer
Something you wear: Red collar (and it's the only thing I ware, vixins!)
Celebrity: Rock Hudson
Food: Rocky Rode Ice Kreem
Something found in a bathroom: 'Roid Kreem
Reason for being late: Rekked frum a nite of nip 'n' vixins
Cartoon Character: Rocky (of Rocky and Bullwinkle)
Something You Shout: Rocky is Reddy for sum Rockin an Rollin, Vixins!!!!
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
As many of yoo know, after my last trip to the emerjinsy vet, I cut bak on my partying and guttercat ways. I mooved inside the howse frum owtside, and discuverd that I love sleepin and livin on the peepul bed. I do spend a littul time on the balkuney, but mostly I stay on the bed abowt 23 howrs a day.
Heer are 14 things abowt living in my new home on the peepul bed:
- Win I started livving on the bed, the peepul bot me stares so that it is eezy for me to git up and down. Beefore it was vary hard to git up cuz I can't jump like I used to. Now I just walk rite up!
- The peepul don't like me sleepin krossways on the bed. I have to sleep in the same direkshun they do. They put me in pozishun win they come to bed, and I stay in that ixzakt same pozishun until I wake up in the morning.
- On Saterday nites, after the lites go owt, the peepul wrassle with each other and thare's a lot of yelling. They don't rassle with me. I have to moove arownd so I don't git kikt off the bed. I hate Saterday nites.
- After she goze to sleep, the ladey has a sownd that comes owt of her face that sownds like a trane going thru the bedroom. I need eerplugs.
- The man has a trumpet up his butt that make sownds all nite long, espeshully win they had mexikun food for dinner. He waves the cuvvers win the trumpet goze off and a bad smell comes owt and if the ladey is awake she makes a sownd like a cow moooing. The trumpet is stinky.
- If the man eets watermellun for deezert, he has to git up in the middle of the nite and go to his litter box in the cold tile room.
- The ladey duzn't like it win my furrs git all over the bed cuvvers, so she bot the Furrminator and startid grooming me to git all my loose furrs owt. Then she puts them in the garbije.
- Mao is mad that I git to sleep with the ladey.
- Sumtimes at nite I can heer the vishus deer owt by my gutter, and I git up and watch them frum my balkuney.
- They put a big bole of water in the bedroom so I can drink during the nite, but it is not as good as drinking from my Petmate Water Fowntin wich is in the cat bedroom.
- The best part of my day is win the peepul git reddy to come to bed with me and they moove Mao and Skeez' owt of the peepul bedroom into the cat bedroom, and I GIT TO STAY!!!!! Mao reely bellows win that happens. But he's a bad boob walker and 5am yowler, so he can't sleep in thare anymore. BUT I CAN!!!!
- The peepul always say good nite to me and pet me beefore they go to sleep. This is nice.
- Beefore the ladey comes to bed -- win it's just the man and me --- I go up on the bed ware he is and we have one-on-one guy time together. And win the ladey comes to bed I moove down by the end of the bed so she can have one-on-one time with the man.
- Thare is a small blak box by the bed with littul peepul in it and myoozik. But yoo can only heer them erly in the morning. The Ladey duzn't like them. Win she heers them talking and making myoozik she hits the blak box HARD and then the peepul shut up. But only for abowt 10 minits. Then she whacks the box agin and they shut up. This goze on FURREVER!!!!! It is vary annoying.
Monday, August 13, 2007
So the ladey started giving me massajes evry nite with the Furminator and WOW it's the gratest! I'm abowt five pownds liter cuz all my spare furrs are gone and my skalp is tingley. But it scared the bejezus owtta the wite rat win he saw all my furs in the trash. hehehe. I think he wet his pants. I watched him git close to the trash to snif all my throde away furs and then I wisperd "skeeeeeezix! skeeeeeeeeeezix!" and he jumped 8 feet in the air. HAHAHA! Well, gotta go. It's time for my Furminator massaje! THE END --- RtGC
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Mostly, I just look at the pikchers and the funeez. Thare are a lot of werds in the New Yorker, and uzhully I don't reed thoze. Cuz that wood be too tiring. I just had to share this ishoo with yoo becuz it had a cat storey in it!!!! YES! A cat storey!!!! I was just flipping pages, and thare it was, this spicy vixin, probly coming to vizit me!
I think she was krossing Deth Valley JUST TO SEE ME!!!! She was HOT!
Heer, I'll tern it arownd so yoo can see the next one.... she is kliming a mowntin!
And now I think she is at the top of Mownt Witney!
Now she's movving west, down the Mownt Witney:
And heer I think she got a wiff of nip and she's running as fast as she can to Castro Valley.
Do yoo think she'll make it? I'm gonna go owt on my Balkuney and see if I can spot her!
Don't yoo agree this was a vary good storey.... and vary intellekchewul too!
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Life is grate .... thanks to da grate Jeter Harris!!!! Thanks, Jete!
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Friday, August 03, 2007
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
STAY TOONED FOR THE ANNOWNSEMINT OF THE WINNER
It's time to gess win I will post my 200th blog post. And I mite not have any kontrol over it cuz Tripper mite hijak my blog for his own deemented perposes. Pleeze reed all the roolz carefully, cuz thare a littul bit diffrint than in the past:
- This time arownd, the one hoo gesses closest BEEFORE THE DATE/TIME OF THE WINNING POST PASSES wins. I know it's confyoozing, so I'll give yoo an ixzample.... if the winning post is on August 31st at 11:51 pm and the two closest gesses were August 31st at 8am and September 10th at 8am, the winner is the Sept 10th gess. So, once the date/time of yer gess has passed, yer owt of the running if the winning post has not yet bin posted.
- Only cats with blogs or Catster IDs are elijibul. In addishun, Titus the dawg and Fiona Bun can enter, and the Poi rats, too, cuz Ratatooey was a good moovey.
- Only one gess per HOWSEHOLD. So yoo all will need to come to sum agreement and enter just one gess. If yoo try and enter more than one gess per howsehold, all of yer howsehold's entreez will be disqwalifide.
- Only gesses entered in the comments feeld of this post are elijibul.
- TRIPPER IS NOT ELIGIBUL. Neether is Skeeze or Mao.
- It's my kontest, so I can change the roolz anytime I wunt (thanks, Skeezix!).
- Once yoo gess, yoo cannot change yer gess.
- If there is a tie, the gess wich was submitted the erliest wins.
- If yoo do not enter am or pm, it will deefalt to am.
- ENTRY DEDLINE: 11:59pm AUGUST 3rd PDT
HOW TO ENTER
- Submit a gess in the comments feeld of this post in the following format:
DATE TIMEam/pm NAME [link to yer blog or Catster ID]
August 4th 10am Maobert Schnickles (http://www.maobert.com/)
September 5th 3:21pm Tripper (http://www.catster.com/cats/323545)
As yoo all know, we're rite smak in the middul of Vishus Deer Seezin. So the prize pakije will offer sum things that will help all of yoo get thru this terryfying time of the yeer in one peese:
Monday, July 23, 2007
Pleeze drop by thare place and give 'em a high five!
UPDATE!!! Alas, the adopshun fell thru (but it's still Grr, Midnight & Cocoa Day cuz they always go the distinse in finding new homes for cats in need - cuz they were in that pozishun once themselfs). Terns owt, the gerl hoo wuz going to adopt them is abowt to start collije and her parents didn't feel that she wood have the time avaylubul to soshulize theeze sweet tuxies properly (they're still a littul on the ferul side and need TLC -- but hey, that psyko stray cat Tripper was kompleetly wild win the Food Lady started werking on him, and now he's a big snugglebuddy akording to the FL [he duzn't bunnykikk her].) So, we're bak to ware we were. Anybuddy wunt to adopt some Callyfornya tuxies for Tuxie Toozday???
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
What were you doing 10 years ago?
Ten yeers ago I was living in the ferst howse I ever lived in. I wuzn't a geezer then and I didn't have thigh roids or kid me problims. I was spry. I was an owtside cat cuz the inside was rooled by Perl the Holy Terrer hoo thot she owned the place. This was arownd the time that Perl got a new job as a rat killer and wint to live with my Ant Joanne in Bakersfeeld. Once Perl left, my life got better. And my vary best frend Joonyer came to live with us. He tot me how to rassle and have fun. Mao wuz arownd, but him an me never ixzaktly saw eye 2 eye we just keep owr distinss. Ixsept win we have to do bizniss together.
What were you doing 1 year ago?
Hangin in the gutter, dreeming of Spicy Vixins. I din't have any Spicy Vixins yet; I just dreemed abowt them. Did a lot of nip.
5 snacks you enjoy?
- Fish Flakes (thanks, Daisy!!!!)
- Powderd Pit'r Pats
- That's it.
5 songs to which you know all the lyrics?
Rocky Mowntin Hi
Wild and Untamed Thing frum the Rocky Horror Pikcher Show
Ketch 22 - Rocky
Rocky theem song
Rock this Town by the Stray Cats
5 things you would do if you were a millionaire?
- Reetire frum the Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt Bizniss and take it eezy
- Kidnap the vet man and have sumbuddy sit on him wile I put cold things up his booty
- Buy the werld's supply of catnip
- By a howse for Tripper on the other side of the planit
- Take all the spicy vixins on a shopping spree to Viktoreeyus Seekrit
5 bad habits?
Hmmm, it's hard to narrow it down to just five, but heer goze:
- Catnip Seegars
- The peepul think I wine too much
- Peein' inappropreeitly
- Drawing blud win I go to the vet man's
5 things you enjoy doing?
- Spicy Vixins
- Making fun of Skeezy -- all in good fun
- Eetin' baby food
5 things you would never wear again?
I uzhully let it all hang owt, and sumtimes I ware the Yankey cap (thanks, Jete'), but I kinda LIKE waring da Yankey cap and I ware it a lot, so I don't think thare's anything I'd never ware agin.
5 favorite toys?
- Felt mousie
- Paper bag
- The Weejy Bord game that the man plays with me
- Anything stuft with Catnip (ixsept not the catnip banananana that Trip wrekked cuz it has his spit and his grunjey furrs on it)
Saturday, July 14, 2007
This is a kross-post frum Zevo Calamari's blog. Two grate tuxies in the San Deeaygo area need a home and time is running owt for them. Heer's the storey:
We are looking for a good home for these two nice cats. A member of Zevo's fan club has written with this request:
"I would like to know if you know any sites for adoptions for scared kitties or
anyone that would be interested in helping me out.. I have had these two tuxedos I rescued months ago. They are litter trained, spayed, shots, Advantage, de-wormed. I adopted out two already and am left with the two females. I have been socializing them, but they still need more.
"I visit them twice a day in a pool house on another property and they're running out of time. They need to be in a home with people. I found these kitties in the garden. I am looking for an inside only home with no dogs or little children. I don't know what to do at this point I have been trying for months on Craigslist and got nothing but flakes. I would keep them but I have two dogs that hate cats. "
Only those who are serious should use this email address
alan AT mrconstruction DOT com
If you know of anyone who can help please pass this on.