Friday, February 29, 2008

Give Sadie yer support

My look-alike faverite spicy vixin, Sadie got told by the stoopid vet guy that she's a porker and needs to looze wate. Evrybuddy noze that's just a lame excyoose the vet mans use to make peepul buy ixpensive diet food wich tastes like cardbord and makes us looze owr wills to live. Ferst of all, Sadie is dammd HOT. No matter how much she ways. Secund of all, my furchin almost drags the grownd and withowt the extra powndidje, I'd look like Skeezix, hoo is a greate littul guy and all that, but he looks like a skellytun he's so skinney. He duzn't have any luv handuls to hold onto win yer having sexy times. Not that I've looked at him in that way. But yoo just can't git good cuddling in with a rat-bodied cat. Sadie is a good snuggler. I think I mite rite her vet a letter.

If yoo have a minit, cood yoo drop by and tell Sadie yoo think she's hot just the way she is? I think that wood cheer her up. THE END --- RtGC

Monday, February 25, 2008

Spring is Sprung... sorta

Hey, evrybuddy! Spring is just arownd the korner, so chek owt this grate contest by Simply Simeeze! Not only do yoo git a chanse to win fabyulus prizes, but evry entry erns a $1 donayshun to Project Ham! And to sweeten the pot, if the total number of entries gits over 40, Skeeze and Mao and me and that pysko Tripper will eech donate $10 for a total of a $40 donayshun to Project Ham. Project Ham is a projekt to keep owr best frends Sammy and Miles in ham wile thare Food Lady and man are owt of werk. Sammy and Miles have bin bloggin even longer than I have: thare praktikly an institooshun!!! So whip up an entry today! Heer's the link:

Monday, February 11, 2008

Rocky's Male Bag

Being a biznisscat, I git a lot of male. Heer is one I got today frum sumbuddy hoo wunts to Chase me. Yoo can biggify it to reed it better:

The part by the red arrow reely got my attenshun!

Your check will be sent directly to you.
A check for up to $40,000 will be sent to you in as little as two business days of final processing. You can cash it immediately. Use the money for any educational expense, including this semester's tuition, housing a laptop computer or study abroad.
So, theeze chase people are gonna give me $40,000 to git a laptop computer and study a broad. I think I'm gonna study the effekts of catnip on the luhbeedo. WOO HOO! Party at my howse!!! Line up gerls! Hoo is gonna be the ferst broad for me to study????

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Whut I've bin up to

Nuthing much exciting has bin happening. Yesterday, the peepul took that stoopid Tripper away in the bloo masheen and he wasn't with them with they came bak. I was vary happy, like they finely figyerd owt whut an oafish werthliss big galloot he is and deesided to give him a one-way trip to the sausage faktery. I even kikt up my heels. But later they brot him bak. He smelt better and he had his bak and his booty bak by his Spot 13 shaved. I think it's called a boyzilian. I'm sorry, thare's just no way I'm letting anybuddy with klippers down thare. Just goze to proove that Tripper's a freek. He was vary happy abowt the hole thing like he had the time of his life. Freek.

Anyway, heer's whut I do every day. Wake up, eet chow. Complane abowt whut I wuz givvin to eet. Git my thigh-roid pill shuvd down my throte. Wine to go downstares. Wine to go owtside. Go owtside, walk arownd to the garaje door and klime into the nice red Jeep Rubicon cat bed that's in the garaje. It's cumfterbul. Sleep all day. Git brung in the howse win its time for dinner. Eet chow. Complane abowt whut I wuz givvin to eet. Sleep in the man's office chare. Git my thigh-roid pill shuvd down my throte.

I had bin sleeping all nite in the peepul bed, but one nite the ladey cawt me starting to pee in a place that was not the cat box. Boy, is she a lite sleeper! So I sleep in the man's office chare all nite insted. Boring boring boring.