Gutter Improovemints

I've upgraded my gutter with a Linkin. I think yoo vixins will like it.

My Pal Babe

Win it's reel hot, I hang on the balkoney cuz thare are sumtimes nice breezes that come up the hill and make me cool. The balkoney has a cat door owt to it, and owt thare is ware the litter boxes live in thare own howse. That way we can't smell Skeezy's stinkey poops in the howse. They put down this fake rug thing thare so the litter duzn't fall down onto the dek ... and it's a nice rug cuz it's just like grass ixsept unlike the frunt yard, the next door nayber dawg duznt krap on it. So I lay on it, next to the cat litter box howse all day long. It's nice. And better than laying in the gutter win peepul like Mr Tinydik are watering thare lons.

In this pikcher, my frend Babe has joined me. Babe is NOT a spicy vixin. He's not even a spicy dood. He's just a blob. He beelongs to the man's mom. Sumtimes Babe comes and hangs with me just to hang with the cool crowd. Sumtimes I'll wake up frum a nap and think maybe I'm lookin' at Sadie's bak end, but no, it's just a babe butt. I try to be nice to Babe cuz he used to be a ferul cat. At leest he's not psyko like that stoopid Tripper.

Tuxie Toozday

Sittin in the gutter, wayting for my harem to show up...

Tuxedo Toozday

This is a pikchur of me on my bench. Win I'm outside, if I'm not in the gutter, I'm heer. It's a nice bench. Much warmer than being on the kold seement, wich bothers my artheritis. The lady reely likes it win I put my 2 frunt paws together becuz they make purrfikt matched sox.

MORE TERRIFIK TUXIES:

>> Sox

>> Cranky Mrs B

>> Hot(M)BC

>> Abby

>> DaisyMae Maus

THE END --- RtGC

MY Thursday Thirteen

My best frend Skeezix and Mao did sumthing called a Thursday Thirteen, so I thot I'd give it a try. Heer are thirteen things I do evry day:

1. Eet 6 or 7 cans of Fancy Feest Turkey and Giblets in the green can.
2. Sleep on the chare in the cat bedroom.
3. Sleep in the green cooshun chare by the lake in the bak yard.
4. Drink a few galluns of water owt of the big lake in the bak yard.
5. Hang owt in the gutter.
6. Sit in the cat mint.
7. Krap in the mulch.
8. Eet gutter grass.
9. Rekreeayshun: Do nip and play with the felt mousie and clime the walls. Play chase with Skeezix.
10. Win the man in the bloo shorts comes, chek to see if I have any credit card offers or other male. If I do, fill owt the offers and put them bak in the box for the man in the bloo shorts to take away.
11. Wine for food.
12. Drink the kitty water fowntin in the house dry.
13. Pee big briks in the litter box upstares.

That's it. Now whut? --- THE END - RtGC

More frum my malebox

So today I got a letter frum the Genworth Life Insurance Company. Heer's part of the letter:

Dear Rockford R Nichols,

As a responsible citizen, you have paid taxes most of your life, and that's why I think you have a right to be deeply concerned by what I am about to tell you.

The cost of long-term care is high. One year of nursing home care in California averages over $69,000 a year. Home care is usually less expensive but it still adds up. A well designed Long-Term Care Insurance policy may go a long way towards covering most of these costs.

Do any of yoo have long-term care insurance or life insurance?It sounds scary! How do they know I'm a geezer? Did sumbuddy tell? I'm shoor glad I got all thoze credit cards so I can pay for my nursing home care. Do they have gutters at nursing homes? Do they serve Fancy Feest? Whut are taxes? I don't think I've ever pade them becuz I'm whut yoo call a freeloader. THE END -- RtGC

My Bench

Heer is a pikchur of my bench. As yoo can see, it is a nice bench. It is next to my summer home in the driveway, and it's kind of like an upstares. It gives me a good vantij point to patrol the premises. Mao always sez I only patrol the gutter, but that's not troo, and Mao is hardly ever outside. So win he's not outside, I have to do all the patroling. It's hard werk.

In this pikchur, I'm keeping an eegul eye on the sidewok. The sidewok is ware I see most of the introoders. It is next to my home in the gutter. I hate introoders, espeshully win they are dawgs.

The bench is nice to sit on win it's reely hot or reely cold outside becuz it duzn't git as hot or cold as the cement. Since I'm a geezer cat, I feel the cold more than yung wipper-snapper cats do. THE END -- RtGC

It was a good nite

The food lady and man spent a long time last nite out by the gutter with me. They got a new contrapshun called the Celestron SkyScout that they yooze win they do that thing ware they look strate up in the air. I don't know why they do that, but they were pritty enthrawlled. They took turns, and hooever wasn't looking thru the gizmo held me on their sholder and skratcht me behind my neck like I reely love. Then they sat with me in the gutter and talked to me abowt stuff. I can't remember whut, but it was nice. Win the clowds came they wint bak in the howse and I spent the rest of the nite in the gutter. THE END --- RtGC

Whut a Krappy Week

That stoopid Skeezix not only red all my male, but he made a list of it, commented on it, and put it on his blog. CAN YOO BELEEVE THAT??? And now evry singul cat on the innernet is tokking abowt my male and my credit cards and how I'm trying to buy a new car for my gutter. I feel like my sole has been bared to the werld.

Plus, the peeple haven't bin hitting any homeruns with cat food flavers this week.

Plus, thare was a flotilla of stranjers hoo visited this weekend, and they were very lowd and thare were very many of them and they PARKED THARE BIG HONKIN SUVS IN MY GUTTER and they called me "Roger" insted of "Rocky."

I hate my life.

THE END --- RtGC

My home

Heer I am in my home in the gutter. In this pikchur, I'm in the upstares part of the gutter. As yoo can see, the gutter has a sleek, contemperary stile. I like it. THE END ---RtGC