Today sukt. I sed more bad werds then I ever did in my life. Becuz today sukt. The man (hoo USED to be my buddey) put together my medikul rekerds (see abuv) frum the Emerjinsy Vet torcher place and he throde me into the box and took me in his lowd bloo masheen to the torcher place in Castro Valley. Let me tell yoo, it's bin a long time sinse I kust that much at one time. I thot the wite rat was gonna ixplode frum heering all thoze bad werds. The man told me we were just going thare for a short trip and we were coming rite bak home. BUT HE LIDE. Yes, my FORMER buddey lide to me, and left me thare so the torcher peepul cood torcher me sum more. I thot I wuz a gonner. They did all kinds of hurty things in my mouth and to my teeths and they stabd 10 foot long needuls into me and draned me dry of my blud. But they didn't suk the pee owt of me! In fakt, I reely had to go. They put me in the box, and then I herd a familyer voise - it was the lady. And even tho I had to pee, she just stade thare and blabd and blabd with the torcher place ladeys hoo took her plastik thing frum her and they were tawkin' abowt the wite rats' mannycure --- like hoo gives a poop????? --- and his blog until I wunted to yakk. FINELY we left and I got my reevenje! On the way home, I peed and peed and peed and the pee wint owtside the box and onto the ladey's lether seets and wool karpit in her bloo masheen. VIKTERY!!!!! And I sware, the man will never be my buddey agin. (Did I menshun today sukt???) --- THE END - RtGC
Showing posts with label vet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vet. Show all posts
Monday, June 04, 2007
MadCat Munday
Today sukt. I sed more bad werds then I ever did in my life. Becuz today sukt. The man (hoo USED to be my buddey) put together my medikul rekerds (see abuv) frum the Emerjinsy Vet torcher place and he throde me into the box and took me in his lowd bloo masheen to the torcher place in Castro Valley. Let me tell yoo, it's bin a long time sinse I kust that much at one time. I thot the wite rat was gonna ixplode frum heering all thoze bad werds. The man told me we were just going thare for a short trip and we were coming rite bak home. BUT HE LIDE. Yes, my FORMER buddey lide to me, and left me thare so the torcher peepul cood torcher me sum more. I thot I wuz a gonner. They did all kinds of hurty things in my mouth and to my teeths and they stabd 10 foot long needuls into me and draned me dry of my blud. But they didn't suk the pee owt of me! In fakt, I reely had to go. They put me in the box, and then I herd a familyer voise - it was the lady. And even tho I had to pee, she just stade thare and blabd and blabd with the torcher place ladeys hoo took her plastik thing frum her and they were tawkin' abowt the wite rats' mannycure --- like hoo gives a poop????? --- and his blog until I wunted to yakk. FINELY we left and I got my reevenje! On the way home, I peed and peed and peed and the pee wint owtside the box and onto the ladey's lether seets and wool karpit in her bloo masheen. VIKTERY!!!!! And I sware, the man will never be my buddey agin. (Did I menshun today sukt???) --- THE END - RtGC
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Rocky: 1 Shon: 0
Skore one for the Rockster today. The meen lady stuft me in the kardbord box and took me in the bloo masheen to the vet man. He rubbed goo on my belly and did an ultrasownd, and then he took owt pee and then they torcherd me with a needul. It sukt.
But just as I fooled them into thinking I wuz a plasid mellow fellow, I wint into Ninja mode and nayled Shon the vet man's helper reel good with my clawz and made him bleed bukkets of blud. I bared my teeth. It felt good. I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it any more.
Thare's nuthin rong with me. I am strong like Hercyooleez!
THE END --- RtGC
But just as I fooled them into thinking I wuz a plasid mellow fellow, I wint into Ninja mode and nayled Shon the vet man's helper reel good with my clawz and made him bleed bukkets of blud. I bared my teeth. It felt good. I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it any more.
Thare's nuthin rong with me. I am strong like Hercyooleez!
THE END --- RtGC
Monday, September 18, 2006
Whut a Weekend....
Saterday wuz Skeezie's berthday. It was fun. I wuz the bartender. Trip helped me out so I cood take brakes to pee in the mulch, wich I have to do a lot. I got to hit on Sadie, hoo is hot. She looks almost igzaktly like me. Trip barfed on my feet. He thot being the bartender ment yoo cood drink evry time yoo servd a drink. He's pritty stoopid. So, the party was reely good.
But yesterday I started feeling bad. I tride to pee and coodn't. And it hert. A LOT. I cood barely ketch my breth it hert so much. So I yowld and tride to pee and yowld and tride to pee and it wuz very distressing. I'd drank a lot of water, abowt five galuns, and I HAD TO PEE!!! But nothin wood come out. So the lady and the man pakt me back up in that awful kardbord box and put me in the bloo masheen that livs in my gutter and the drove me to a place I'd never bin before. Mr Tasty Face drove reely fast. The lady kept saying it wuz like Mr Tode's Wild Ride. I don't know whut that is, but it was scarey. He drove on a reely winding rode thru a kanyun and I know it was winding becuz win he wint arownd a wind-ey part, my box fell over on its side and the lady yelled at the man, and then he'd go arownd anuther wind-ey part reely fast, and the box fell over on its other side, and it was probly like being in a washing masheen, only dry (unforchewnitly). So the lady krolled over and got my box frum the bak seet and put it on her lap, wich was much better. I started to relax a littul, and then I peed all over the lady's lap. That made her happy. Then we got to the place they took me.
It was fresh and new and kleen. It's called an emerjincey vet. It's open win the other vet-mans are goofing off at home. They took the pee out of me. It was red. It was not a plezint proceedyur. They gave me a shot. I think it wuz like the morfeen they gave Rosie and Cheeto's lady win she had the kid-me problim. It made the hurting go away mostly. After a wile, they put me bak in the kardbord box and put me and the kardbord box bak on the lady's lap in the bloo masheen and we wint home. They watcht me reel close and lokt me in the cat bedroom without the other cats to bug me. That was okay. In the morning, they were happy that I peed in the nite. They put sum barfy medisin in my mouth that keeps the hurt away. I'm a littul disorientid. They don't want me to go outside so they can watch me. It suks to be me. THE END - RtGC
But yesterday I started feeling bad. I tride to pee and coodn't. And it hert. A LOT. I cood barely ketch my breth it hert so much. So I yowld and tride to pee and yowld and tride to pee and it wuz very distressing. I'd drank a lot of water, abowt five galuns, and I HAD TO PEE!!! But nothin wood come out. So the lady and the man pakt me back up in that awful kardbord box and put me in the bloo masheen that livs in my gutter and the drove me to a place I'd never bin before. Mr Tasty Face drove reely fast. The lady kept saying it wuz like Mr Tode's Wild Ride. I don't know whut that is, but it was scarey. He drove on a reely winding rode thru a kanyun and I know it was winding becuz win he wint arownd a wind-ey part, my box fell over on its side and the lady yelled at the man, and then he'd go arownd anuther wind-ey part reely fast, and the box fell over on its other side, and it was probly like being in a washing masheen, only dry (unforchewnitly). So the lady krolled over and got my box frum the bak seet and put it on her lap, wich was much better. I started to relax a littul, and then I peed all over the lady's lap. That made her happy. Then we got to the place they took me.
It was fresh and new and kleen. It's called an emerjincey vet. It's open win the other vet-mans are goofing off at home. They took the pee out of me. It was red. It was not a plezint proceedyur. They gave me a shot. I think it wuz like the morfeen they gave Rosie and Cheeto's lady win she had the kid-me problim. It made the hurting go away mostly. After a wile, they put me bak in the kardbord box and put me and the kardbord box bak on the lady's lap in the bloo masheen and we wint home. They watcht me reel close and lokt me in the cat bedroom without the other cats to bug me. That was okay. In the morning, they were happy that I peed in the nite. They put sum barfy medisin in my mouth that keeps the hurt away. I'm a littul disorientid. They don't want me to go outside so they can watch me. It suks to be me. THE END - RtGC
Monday, September 11, 2006
It suks to be me, PT 2
No brekfist this morning, and then before I new it, they put me in a box and drove me to the torchur place agin. I peed in the box just to show them. At the torchur place they spent most of the day cheking my pee. Then they stuk needuls in me and I past owt frum the ordeel. Win I woke up, my gums hert. Then they stuk more needuls in me. Then the lady came. I skreemd "TAKE ME HOME TAKE ME HOME." I sed sum bad werds that are on Skeezix's bad werd list, too. The lady sed that for all the munny they spent, I shood werk on improoving my persunality so that I'm injoyabul to be arownd. Skrew them. The lady and the man were happy that I didn't have kid me problims. I never kid anybuddy, so I don't know whut thare talking abowt. The old man sed I still have a problim with my thigh roids, wich I gess is like hemroids, only lower. Skrew him. My mouth herts and I'm still hungrey frum starving all nite and day and I need a drink of water, and I think my thighs look pritty good for a geezer cat. THE END -- RtGC
Thursday, September 07, 2006
It suks to be me
Yep, that's me in a box on the cold silver table. I had to go to the vet. Even werse, I had to ride in the bloo masheen with the wite rat hoo kept telling me to stop kussing. I kust all the way thare and back. The wite rat likes riding in the bloo masheen and seeing the vet. The wite rat is a freek. They poked needuls in me and looked at my pee and looked at my teeth that have jinjer vinus. Even werse than that, I have to go back to the vet on Munday. Sumthing abowt my kidneys and all the water I'm drinking. I'm fine, I'm frisky, and I don't wanna go to the vet anymore.
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