Saterday wuz Skeezie's berthday. It was fun. I wuz the bartender. Trip helped me out so I cood take brakes to pee in the mulch, wich I have to do a lot. I got to hit on Sadie, hoo is hot. She looks almost igzaktly like me. Trip barfed on my feet. He thot being the bartender ment yoo cood drink evry time yoo servd a drink. He's pritty stoopid. So, the party was reely good.
But yesterday I started feeling bad. I tride to pee and coodn't. And it hert. A LOT. I cood barely ketch my breth it hert so much. So I yowld and tride to pee and yowld and tride to pee and it wuz very distressing. I'd drank a lot of water, abowt five galuns, and I HAD TO PEE!!! But nothin wood come out. So the lady and the man pakt me back up in that awful kardbord box and put me in the bloo masheen that livs in my gutter and the drove me to a place I'd never bin before. Mr Tasty Face drove reely fast. The lady kept saying it wuz like Mr Tode's Wild Ride. I don't know whut that is, but it was scarey. He drove on a reely winding rode thru a kanyun and I know it was winding becuz win he wint arownd a wind-ey part, my box fell over on its side and the lady yelled at the man, and then he'd go arownd anuther wind-ey part reely fast, and the box fell over on its other side, and it was probly like being in a washing masheen, only dry (unforchewnitly). So the lady krolled over and got my box frum the bak seet and put it on her lap, wich was much better. I started to relax a littul, and then I peed all over the lady's lap. That made her happy. Then we got to the place they took me.
It was fresh and new and kleen. It's called an emerjincey vet. It's open win the other vet-mans are goofing off at home. They took the pee out of me. It was red. It was not a plezint proceedyur. They gave me a shot. I think it wuz like the morfeen they gave Rosie and Cheeto's lady win she had the kid-me problim. It made the hurting go away mostly. After a wile, they put me bak in the kardbord box and put me and the kardbord box bak on the lady's lap in the bloo masheen and we wint home. They watcht me reel close and lokt me in the cat bedroom without the other cats to bug me. That was okay. In the morning, they were happy that I peed in the nite. They put sum barfy medisin in my mouth that keeps the hurt away. I'm a littul disorientid. They don't want me to go outside so they can watch me. It suks to be me. THE END - RtGC