Thursday Thirteen: Edishun 3

Rockyboy's 13 Top Pikup Lines.

1. Hey, Babe. Wanna see my gutter?
2. Wanna be one of my spicy vixins?
3. If yoo blow chunks, I'll eet it.
4. If yoo were a booger, I wood pik you ferst.
5. Wunt to chek owt my catnip boo-fay?
6. If byooty was a crime, yoo'd be in for life.
7. My catbed is heetid. Wanna warm up?
8. I'm on Santa's nawty list. Wunna find owt why?
9. If you were a new burger at McDonald's, you'd be McGorgeous.
10. Do yoo like Fancy Feest? Cuz that's whut we're having for brekfist tomorrow.
11. Yer legs must be tired becuz yoo've bin running thru my mind all nite.
12. This isn't a beer belly--it's the gas tank for a luv masheen!
13. Hey, Sadie. Yoo look like me!

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My Thursday Thirteen

Rocky the Gutter Cat's Thirteen Ways to Attrakt the Chiks

1. Ware a Yankees kap. Chiks dig sports guyz and athuleets.
2. Rite a blog.
3. Git a Hugh Hefner smoking jakkit to ware in the grotto. I don't have wun but Kismet duz, and EVRYWUN knows he's a regyuler chik magnit.
4. Git horns implantid in yer 4hed. I have herd that win yoo have horns, the ladeez can sense yoo are reddy to git down to bizniss.
5. Go to the vet a lot and rite abowt it on yer blog. The chiks' Florinse Niteingale whoremones will start kikking in, and they'll wunt to "nurse yoo bak to helth." Let them.
6. Good dentul high-jeens. Win yer breth is kissing sweet, the chiks are more inklined to wunt to kiss yoo.
7. Let the chiks do all the talking. They like to talk, so let em.
8. Git a dweebie baby bruther like Skeez hood wet his pants if he got close to a gerl. Wimmin are all over him becuz he's so "kyoot" but he coodn't date his way outta a paper bag. That's win big bruther Rocky stands bak and skoops up the overflow. It's like shootin fish in a barrul.
9. I always ware a tuxeedo. Chiks dig guyz in tuxedos, and it is sed that evry guy looks good in a tuxedo. That spicey littul vixin Rosie calls it a munkey soot. Whutever. It's a good look for me, and it wood be a good look for yoo.
10. Lern to nap with yer eyes open. That way, win the chik is yakkin' and yakkin' abowt the "relayshunship," yoo can git sum shuteye wile simultaneyusly skoring points for being a good lissiner.
11. Git a hoohaectomy. It's no piknik, but theeze daze, no chik wunts to date a guy unless he's shooting blanks.
12. Be a moovey star. Win "The Advenchurs of Rocky the Gutter Cat" was reeleest, I had to fend off the chiks with a stik. I thot of chanjing my name to Rocky Pitt.
13. Know yer nip. Chiks mite not wunt to admit it, but they'd much rather date a konnusoor like me hoo knows skank weed frum the primo stuff and can show them a good time than sum guy hoo don't know buds frum stems. And wunce they git a few wiffs, yoo'll have them eeting frum the palm of yer paw.

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THE END --- RtGC