The peepul have bin pampering me ever sinse a cuppul of munths ago win they thot I had hart and kid me faylyer. So reesintly, the ladey bot a Furminator. She likes bying stuff on the innernets with ketchy names like that. She bot the Furminator becuz as yoo ladeez know, I'm a harey guy, and harey meens hareballs (I'm talkin abowt the kind yoo hock up, not the ones by yer Spot 13).
So the ladey started giving me massajes evry nite with the Furminator and WOW it's the gratest! I'm abowt five pownds liter cuz all my spare furrs are gone and my skalp is tingley. But it scared the bejezus owtta the wite rat win he saw all my furs in the trash. hehehe. I think he wet his pants. I watched him git close to the trash to snif all my throde away furs and then I wisperd "skeeeeeezix! skeeeeeeeeeezix!" and he jumped 8 feet in the air. HAHAHA! Well, gotta go. It's time for my Furminator massaje! THE END --- RtGC