Buds

Me and the man are buds. Yesterday, he wunted to have a portrit done of me and him together. No silly kristmuss hats or nuthin, just us buds sittin together. Ixsept he didn't hold me rite. It's okay. Win yer buds, yoo have an understanding abowt stuff. As yoo can see, the man is feeling better.

Now serving eggnog....

... Vixins, pleeze form a line to sit on ole' Rocky's lap!!!

C'mon Vixins!!!!!

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Skeezy reeks of a hangover

Man, Skeez is bak frum ware-ever he wint, and boy, duz he reek of a bad hangover. I woodn't 've thunk it of him. Razes him up in my estimayshun. Ixsept if he was taking over my vixins in the Vixin's Den (see beelow). When he's feeling less "green" I'll have to ask him abowt that.

Whut the....?

I haven't seen too much of Skeez lately. As a matter of fakt, I haven't seen much of the wooman eether. That part's been nice. Cuz I've bin sleeping in her spot on the peeple bed. And the man looks kinda lonely so I git up on his chest and make biskits cuz he's my bud and I think it makes him a littul happy. I was a littul disterbd to heer that the rat has invaded my Vixin's Den:

Wich isn't rite cuz thare MY vixins, and beesides, he's got enuf to handul with that kyoot littul wench, Dazey.

Oops. I did it agin.

Well, ladeez, I did it agin. I managed to skore a finulists spot in Catster's Werld's Coolest Cat Contest. As yoo all know, I eeked owt a win in the sleeper category last yeer, wich I was shur I didn't stand a chanse in cuz Gordy sumhow got hold of Photoshop's kyoot filter but sumhow a mirukul occurred and I beet him... but this yeer he's gonna take away Skeezy's krown in the Costoooms and Shades category with his grate stuntman owtfit. HAHAHA! Take that, Skeez!

But even tho Gordy (thank dog) is not in my category, I still have stiff competishun. Fur ixzampul:

and

So once agin this yeer, I'll have to put in my sorry plee for yer vote for Best in Show. Heer are the reezins yoo shood vote for me insted of Skeezix or Mao or Trip or any of the other entreez:

1. I'm an old geezer cat. This may be the very last kontest I ever git to enter.
2. If I win, win I'm having my pee problims, I'll be abul to think of thoze happy daze win I was the Werld's Koolest Cat, and it mite take my mind off the pane.
3. Skeezix is only 2 3 yeers old, and he has abowt 20 19 more chanses to enter agin before he dies.
4. I pee a LOT, and that meens both freeqwintly and qwantitativly. So I need that yeer's supply of cat litter more than Skeez.
5. Skeezix can go enter a cat show if he wunts to win sumthing. I'm a no-papers mixed breed frum the pownd hoo can't enter cat shows.
6. Did I menshun that I'm an old geezer cat and this may be the very last kontest I ever git to enter?

Man, this suks

Sophie wint to the Bridge this morning. I am so bummed. She was a grate vixin, and an exsillint frend. Please drop by Sophie's Catster page and leeve a note for her famly.

Hang in thare, Sophie!

Sophie, hoo wun ferst place in my Spiciest Spicy Vixin Halloween Contest isn't doing so good. In fakt, she mite be reddy to go to the Bridge. Sophie is one of my faverite vixins cuz she izn't too uppity, and she's a geezer so she understands abowt me needing my naps. And of korse, geezer vixins are grateful for any attenshun yoo give them, and they know a few triks of thare own.

Anyway, I hope yoo pull owt of this, Sophie. And if not, thanks for saving me a place with lots of catnip cigars at the Bridge. Yer a grate old broad.

Catsters, yoo can drop by Sophie's Catster page and leeve her sum heeling thots and maybe a rozette ... I know she'd appresheeate it.

Dona Nobis Pacem

HOT mancats! Time to Ogle!!!!

Vote for yer faverite Spicy Vixin! Go to halloweencontest.blogspot.com and then emale me (rocky AT rockytheguttercat DOT com) with yer vote for the hottest spicy vixin! DO IT NOW!!!!!

The Devil Made Me Do It

I Got an Award!!!!!

I was vary thrild and surprized to git a grate award frum BlackCat.

As yoo can see, it's a vary prestijus award and I was vary lucky to win it. But if yoo didn't win it, it duzn't meen yer a loozer.

I'm going to nommynate sum of the blogs I like:

Caesar and Prinnie. Cuz thare geezers like me.
Bathsheba and Jake. Cuz 'Shebas hot and thare both geezers.
Sadie. Cuz she's hot and she looks ixzaktly like me. And her blog is good.
DaisyMae Maus. Cuz she's hot and almost a geezer, and she'd git mad if I didn't nommynate her.

Thanks, Black Cat! I'm going bak to sleep now.

I fownd a nice place to hang owt

Today I wint owt of the howse. Kinda like the old times beefore I got sik. It was grate. The wether was vary warm and I enjoyed sleepin on the chares by the pool. But it was hard to reelax, cuz a vishus yappy dawg mite brake thru the gate and chase me into the pool. So I looked for sumplace else to sleep that was safe frum dawgs. I fownd this grate red thing in the garaje. I've seen Skeeze ride arownd in it. I looked inside, and yoo know, it has 2 nice soft pillows inside, so I klimed in and wint to sleep. Unforchewnitly, the ladey had a cow cuz she didn't know ware I was and she thot the coyotes beehind owr howse ate me becuz she assumed I crawled into the forest to die, but I just kinda overslept becuz the pillows were so soft and cumfy. Boy, was she glad to see me! --- THE END by RtGC


PEE ESS: All yoo mancats hoo volunteerd to help me judge the Spicy Vixin category in the Halloween Contest: yer in for a treet! We can set back in owr Hugh Hefner robes and suk on sum big catnip cigars and ogle until we go cross-eyed. I mite even see if I can git Bathsheba to do some pole danses. Maybe after we can drop by Da Bing. Thanks for stepping up to the plate -- it's a thankliss job, but sumbuddy's gotta do it!

ATTENSHUN ALL HOT MANCATS!

I'm still taking applikayshuns for hot mancats to judje my category in the Halloween Costoom Kontest. Baysikly, we'll just krap owt on the Barcolownjer, hit the nip reel hard and then ogle the hot gerlcats hoo entered and come up with a winner. Let me know if yer intristed.

Halloween Costoom Contest

I'm sponsering an award in the big Cat Bloggers Halloween Costoom Kontest. It will be "Rocky's Spicy Vixin Award" for the gerlcat with the hottest owtfit. Yoo need not be a member of my Spicy Vixins' Harem to win. Yoo just have to be hot and know how to strut yer stuff. Fur ixzampul, look at Tiggy's costoom frum last yeer... H-O-T: HOT! She put the vava in vavava-vooooom!

The prize will be the sponsership of a Best Frends cat in yer name... and probly sum nip, too. And maybey an invitayshun bak to my grotto: yoo know I'm sleeping on the peepul bed, now!


PEE ESS: If yer name is Halloween, yoo mite have an edje.

Spicy Vixins Costoom Idea

Hey, Vixins! I fownd a nice harum costoom for the Halloween Costoom Contest!

Pirate or Devil??

I'm having a hard time trying to deeside whut to dress up as for Halloween. I wunted to be a devil but that stoopid Trip is gonna be a devil and he mite call me a copycat even tho he duzn't exaktly have the monopully on devil soots. So maybe I shood be a pirate. I like pillajing. Ixsept I don't have a hook to put on my paw. I wunder ware yoo can git one.

Reezults are in: How to woo a spicy vixin

The reezults of my latest pole are in are heer is how yoo anserd the qweschun: How do yoo woo yer spicy vixins?

The kleer winner with 52% of the vote was "Poetry, roze petuls, a fether bed and a ded mowse."

Other reesponses:

20%: Nip. Lotsa nip. Then thare even looser than uzhual.
16% Frank Sinatruh myoosik and a massaje.
10% No nip until after the luvvin. Otherwize she's too wacked.

If yer a spicy vixin, pleeze vote in my new pole at the top of my sidebar on the rite: How do yoo like to be wooed???

Only howrs left to vote!!!!

At the top of the rite sidebar, I have a pole wich asks the qweschun, "How do yoo woo yer spicy vixins?" Voting ends tonite! Pleeze way in.

The Lizzerd

Miss Pixie gave Skeez' a lizzerd for his berthday. I've never seen a lizzerd like it. It has sparkles, and it likes to live under the Fed Ex envelope on the desk ware I snoopervize. I can't have lizzerds on the desk wile I werk. Do yoo think it wood be okay if I kilt Skeez's lizzerd?

Werdless Wenzday

Meow Like a Pirate Day: SEP 19th!!!

My Pirate Name: "Quadruped" Patrick Slaughter

I'm pulling together a pirate krew to go with me to git that yappy littul dawg that came into MY BAK YARD today and throde me into the pool and SWIMMIN IS NOT FUN so I think that littul yappy dawg needs to walk the plank. And then I'm gonna feed him to the gaters and let him swim with the fishes.

Tuxie Toozday: A tuxie at 10 Downing St!

Sybil is my noo idul and she looks like she mite be Spicy Vixin mateeriul. Sybil, the ferst cat to reezide at 10 Downing Street in 10 yeers, is fond of the new British prime minister's gardun. And its berdies. Reed storey heer.

Reezult of Spicy Vixins Pole

The reezults of my Spicy Vixins pole are in. By a landslide, the winning answer to the qweschun "Do yoo prefer yer spicy vixins OLD or YUNG?" was "OLD - They have a lot more tricks up thare sleeves" with 80% of the vote. The other choices were:

OLD: Thare gratefull and not as uppity (7%)
YUNG: I like the newest moduls (7%)
YUNG: I like to kustum trane them (5%)

And I think if I'd blocked Mao frum voting, the "newest moduls" choice woodn't have gottin any votes.

Thanks for partisipayting in this edukayshunul pole!

Don't fergit to reespond to my new pole: how do yoo woo yer spicy vixins?

Widebody Wenzday

Mi vixin picante: Contest!

We have a winner! The ferst of many correkt ansers was submitted by Fiona Bun!!! Concats, Fiona! Yer can of Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt is on its way!

Yoo will need the Flash 9 viewer installed to watch this grate moovey... it's werth the downlode!!

The ferst cat hoo gesses wich of my ravishing spicy vixins I'm dansing with will win a can of Mao & Rocky's ^® Vishus Deer Repelunt!

I like playing putt putt golf with the Man

Happy Gotcha Berthday, DMM!!!

I'll be waring my berthday soot all day for ya, DMM ... I'll drop by with sumthing "primo" that we can sellubrate with!

Werdless Wednesday

Scattergories Meme

What is your name?
Rocky the Gutter Cat

4 letter word: Rude

Vehicle: Rambler ===>

TV Show: Rockford Files

City: Reno!

Boy Name: Rascal

Girl Name: Rosie (rrrrr!)

Alcoholic Drink: Rum Runner (It helps loosen up the vixins. 'cept for Sadie and 'Sheba hoo don't need no loosening up!)

Occupation: Rock and Role Band Singer

Something you wear: Red collar (and it's the only thing I ware, vixins!)

Celebrity: Rock Hudson

Food: Rocky Rode Ice Kreem

Something found in a bathroom: 'Roid Kreem

Reason for being late: Rekked frum a nite of nip 'n' vixins

Cartoon Character: Rocky (of Rocky and Bullwinkle)

Something You Shout: Rocky is Reddy for sum Rockin an Rollin, Vixins!!!!

Blog Blast for Anastasia

As most of yoo know, Anastasia has bin missing for 4 days. Altho we can't help put up flyers or look for her, I thot we cood have a blog blast promoting one minit of hopeful purrayer and purrs and pawsitive thinking to help bring her home safe.

PLEEZE POST THIS ON YER BLOG to enkerije all the cats we know to pawtisipate. Then tomorrow, take one minit owt of yer day at noon PDT, 3pm EDT to focus as much pawsitive energy you can toward Tucson, Arizona.

Friday 14

As many of yoo know, after my last trip to the emerjinsy vet, I cut bak on my partying and guttercat ways. I mooved inside the howse frum owtside, and discuverd that I love sleepin and livin on the peepul bed. I do spend a littul time on the balkuney, but mostly I stay on the bed abowt 23 howrs a day.

Heer are 14 things abowt living in my new home on the peepul bed:

1. Win I started livving on the bed, the peepul bot me stares so that it is eezy for me to git up and down. Beefore it was vary hard to git up cuz I can't jump like I used to. Now I just walk rite up!
2. The peepul don't like me sleepin krossways on the bed. I have to sleep in the same direkshun they do. They put me in pozishun win they come to bed, and I stay in that ixzakt same pozishun until I wake up in the morning.
3. On Saterday nites, after the lites go owt, the peepul wrassle with each other and thare's a lot of yelling. They don't rassle with me. I have to moove arownd so I don't git kikt off the bed. I hate Saterday nites.
4. After she goze to sleep, the ladey has a sownd that comes owt of her face that sownds like a trane going thru the bedroom. I need eerplugs.
5. The man has a trumpet up his butt that make sownds all nite long, espeshully win they had mexikun food for dinner. He waves the cuvvers win the trumpet goze off and a bad smell comes owt and if the ladey is awake she makes a sownd like a cow moooing. The trumpet is stinky.
6. If the man eets watermellun for deezert, he has to git up in the middle of the nite and go to his litter box in the cold tile room.
7. The ladey duzn't like it win my furrs git all over the bed cuvvers, so she bot the Furrminator and startid grooming me to git all my loose furrs owt. Then she puts them in the garbije.
8. Mao is mad that I git to sleep with the ladey.
9. Sumtimes at nite I can heer the vishus deer owt by my gutter, and I git up and watch them frum my balkuney.
10. They put a big bole of water in the bedroom so I can drink during the nite, but it is not as good as drinking from my Petmate Water Fowntin wich is in the cat bedroom.
11. The best part of my day is win the peepul git reddy to come to bed with me and they moove Mao and Skeez' owt of the peepul bedroom into the cat bedroom, and I GIT TO STAY!!!!! Mao reely bellows win that happens. But he's a bad boob walker and 5am yowler, so he can't sleep in thare anymore. BUT I CAN!!!!
12. The peepul always say good nite to me and pet me beefore they go to sleep. This is nice.
13. Beefore the ladey comes to bed -- win it's just the man and me --- I go up on the bed ware he is and we have one-on-one guy time together. And win the ladey comes to bed I moove down by the end of the bed so she can have one-on-one time with the man.
14. Thare is a small blak box by the bed with littul peepul in it and myoozik. But yoo can only heer them erly in the morning. The Ladey duzn't like them. Win she heers them talking and making myoozik she hits the blak box HARD and then the peepul shut up. But only for abowt 10 minits. Then she whacks the box agin and they shut up. This goze on FURREVER!!!!! It is vary annoying.
    
    

It's like living in a spa

The peepul have bin pampering me ever sinse a cuppul of munths ago win they thot I had hart and kid me faylyer. So reesintly, the ladey bot a Furminator. She likes bying stuff on the innernets with ketchy names like that. She bot the Furminator becuz as yoo ladeez know, I'm a harey guy, and harey meens hareballs (I'm talkin abowt the kind yoo hock up, not the ones by yer Spot 13).

So the ladey started giving me massajes evry nite with the Furminator and WOW it's the gratest! I'm abowt five pownds liter cuz all my spare furrs are gone and my skalp is tingley. But it scared the bejezus owtta the wite rat win he saw all my furs in the trash. hehehe. I think he wet his pants. I watched him git close to the trash to snif all my throde away furs and then I wisperd "skeeeeeezix! skeeeeeeeeeezix!" and he jumped 8 feet in the air. HAHAHA! Well, gotta go. It's time for my Furminator massaje! THE END --- RtGC

My Balkuney

Heer I am on my balkuney. It's ware I live win I'm not sleepin on the peepul bed. It has a panuramik view of the driveway. It's also got indoor/outdoor carpet in it so that the slats in the balconey floor don't dent my furs, and the carpet gits warm in the sun so my joints don't git cold. Thare's plenty of room on my balkuney for almost ALL my spicy vixins! THE END --- RtGC

I Pikt Sees No Evil

I pikt Sees No Evil for my munkeey. That's cuz he won't look at me win I'm with my Spicy Vixins. And he won't testify aginst me if I git in trubbul for nip cuz he can just say, "I'm sorry yer honor, I didn't see a thing!".

My Reeding Tabul

Now that I live on the bed, I realize I've bin missing owt on a lot of grate reeding. Thare's always lots of pile of books and maguzeens by the bed. And win the New Yorker comes, the man and the ladey fite over hoo gits to reed it ferst. And then win thare thru with it, I git to reed it.

Mostly, I just look at the pikchers and the funeez. Thare are a lot of werds in the New Yorker, and uzhully I don't reed thoze. Cuz that wood be too tiring. I just had to share this ishoo with yoo becuz it had a cat storey in it!!!! YES! A cat storey!!!! I was just flipping pages, and thare it was, this spicy vixin, probly coming to vizit me!


I think she was krossing Deth Valley JUST TO SEE ME!!!! She was HOT!

Heer, I'll tern it arownd so yoo can see the next one.... she is kliming a mowntin!

And now I think she is at the top of Mownt Witney!

Now she is taking in the view and looking for Castro Valley:

Now she's movving west, down the Mownt Witney:

And heer I think she got a wiff of nip and she's running as fast as she can to Castro Valley.

But she has to find the BART stayshun ferst:

Do yoo think she'll make it? I'm gonna go owt on my Balkuney and see if I can spot her!

Don't yoo agree this was a vary good storey.... and vary intellekchewul too!

Da Munkeez Came!

Yesturday a box came. It had my name on it. Mao and Skeezy's, too. I got to reed the letter becuz I wuz werking in the offiss at the time:

The letter was nice an all, but I wunted to git to the mane eevent: da munkeez!!!!
Wich munkey do yoo think I will pik?????? ....stay tooned!

Life is grate .... thanks to da grate Jeter Harris!!!! Thanks, Jete!

Git better qwik, BabyBean!

I'm not the werld's oldest cat!!!

Well, as most of yoo know, I've bin a littul deeprest lately abowt being old. Cuz being old suks. I have to go to the V-E-T a lot and I have to take lots of pills evry day, and I'm not as spry as I used to be. But I red a storey today that made me think that maybey I'm not a geezer after all. It was a storey abowt the cat hoo claims to be the werld's oldest cat. How old do yoo think the werld's oldest cat is? I was thinkin' maybey 25 or 27 yeers old, but I was off by A LOT! Terns owt the werld's oldest cat is more than twice as old as I am! >> Reed the storey heer. Yoo mite think this wood make me happy, knowing I've maybey got a lot of good yeers left. But then I started thinkin. I don't have a reetiremint plan or much any savings (unless yoo cownt "my stash"), and I reely don't wanna take pills for ANUTHER 20 yeers!!! Hmmm, thare's a lot to think abowt....

LAST DAY TO ENTER MY 200th POST CONTEST!

Today's the last day to submit yer winning gess in my 200th post contest. The last prize has bin added: a NIPAPALOOZA!!!! Whut's a nipapalooza, yoo ask? Why, enter and win and yoo'll find owt! Heer's how to enter!

Hmmmm.....

I think I've finely bin to evry singul site on the innernet. Now whut?

GESS MY 200TH POST KONTEST!

...AND THE WINNERS ARE: Karl and Anastasia of The Cat Realm! Concats to both of yoo!

ENTREEZ ARE NOW CLOZED.
STAY TOONED FOR THE ANNOWNSEMINT OF THE WINNER

It's time to gess win I will post my 200th blog post. And I mite not have any kontrol over it cuz Tripper mite hijak my blog for his own deemented perposes. Pleeze reed all the roolz carefully, cuz thare a littul bit diffrint than in the past:

ROOLZ:

• This time arownd, the one hoo gesses closest BEEFORE THE DATE/TIME OF THE WINNING POST PASSES wins. I know it's confyoozing, so I'll give yoo an ixzample.... if the winning post is on August 31st at 11:51 pm and the two closest gesses were August 31st at 8am and September 10th at 8am, the winner is the Sept 10th gess. So, once the date/time of yer gess has passed, yer owt of the running if the winning post has not yet bin posted.
  
• Only cats with blogs or Catster IDs are elijibul. In addishun, Titus the dawg and Fiona Bun can enter, and the Poi rats, too, cuz Ratatooey was a good moovey.
• Only one gess per HOWSEHOLD. So yoo all will need to come to sum agreement and enter just one gess. If yoo try and enter more than one gess per howsehold, all of yer howsehold's entreez will be disqwalifide.
  
• Only gesses entered in the comments feeld of this post are elijibul.
• TRIPPER IS NOT ELIGIBUL. Neether is Skeeze or Mao.
  
• It's my kontest, so I can change the roolz anytime I wunt (thanks, Skeezix!).
• Once yoo gess, yoo cannot change yer gess.
• If there is a tie, the gess wich was submitted the erliest wins.
• If yoo do not enter am or pm, it will deefalt to am.
• ENTRY DEDLINE: 11:59pm AUGUST 3rd PDT

HOW TO ENTER

• Submit a gess in the comments feeld of this post in the following format:
  DATE TIMEam/pm NAME [link to yer blog or Catster ID]
  For exzampul:
  August 4th 10am Maobert Schnickles (http://www.maobert.com/)
  or
  September 5th 3:21pm Tripper (http://www.catster.com/cats/323545)
  

PRIZES

As yoo all know, we're rite smak in the middul of Vishus Deer Seezin. So the prize pakije will offer sum things that will help all of yoo get thru this terryfying time of the yeer in one peese:

1) A can of the patent-pending Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt

2) A NO VISHUS DEER mini-buttun for evry cat in yer howse.

3) A NO VISHUS DEER magnit for yer reefrijerayter.

4) A NO VISHUS DEER bumper stikker says "GO AWAY, VISHUS DEER! I've got Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt and I'm not afrade to use it!"

5) Yer choice of A Whirlybird Cat Exercise toy* OR if yoo alreddy have one, reeplacemint berdies for yer Whirlybird (hoo duzn't go thru thoze like a bowl of Fish Flakes?)

6) A Nipapalooza! A cullekshun of primo nip and nip parafenalyuh.

This is not the kontest of the milleniyum, but it's still pritty darned good!

________________________

* Can't ship outside the U.S. If non-US rezidint wins, will substitoot sumthing of eqwal or grater valyoo.

Wordless Wenzday

Tuxie Toozday: It's Grr, Midnight & Cocoa Day!

We are proklayming today to be "Grr, Midnight & Cocoa Day"! Becuz they werked vary vary hard to find two nice tuxies a home! On July 14th, I posted abowt 2 tuxies (that we red abowt on Zevo Calamari's blog) hoo needed a home fast! Grr, Midnight and Cocoa qwikly wint to werk and fownd a frend of Allergic Gerl's hoo agreed to take BOTH of them and give them a grate home! YAY YAY YAY!!!! Grr, Midnight and Cocoa, THE TUXIES OF THE WERLD SALOOT YOO!!!!

Pleeze drop by thare place and give 'em a high five!
_________________________

UPDATE!!! Alas, the adopshun fell thru (but it's still Grr, Midnight & Cocoa Day cuz they always go the distinse in finding new homes for cats in need - cuz they were in that pozishun once themselfs). Terns owt, the gerl hoo wuz going to adopt them is abowt to start collije and her parents didn't feel that she wood have the time avaylubul to soshulize theeze sweet tuxies properly (they're still a littul on the ferul side and need TLC -- but hey, that psyko stray cat Tripper was kompleetly wild win the Food Lady started werking on him, and now he's a big snugglebuddy akording to the FL [he duzn't bunnykikk her].) So, we're bak to ware we were. Anybuddy wunt to adopt some Callyfornya tuxies for Tuxie Toozday???

Ware I live now

Ixsept for win I go owt on the balkunney, heer is ware I spend my day and all nite, too: da bed. Yoo can see that I've got my furrs on it. Or maybe thoze are Sadie's or DMM's. It is vary cumfterbul. The ladey bot me a starecase that she puts next to the bed so I can klime up eezy. Otherwize, I kinda hafta claw my way to the top. The starecase is much better. Sumbuddy askt whut a boobwalker is. A boobwalker is a cat hoo spends da nite walking bak and forth acrost the ladey's chest, waking her up, making her yell, and gitting all the cats throwed owt of the room. Mao is a boobwalker. I am not. I know better. I sleep in ixzaktly one spot all nite long and purr becuz I have a good life. THE END ---- RtGC

Sadie Tagged Me

Sadie tagged me for a meme, and she's gonna wet her pants if I don't do it, so heer goze:

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Ten yeers ago I was living in the ferst howse I ever lived in. I wuzn't a geezer then and I didn't have thigh roids or kid me problims. I was spry. I was an owtside cat cuz the inside was rooled by Perl the Holy Terrer hoo thot she owned the place. This was arownd the time that Perl got a new job as a rat killer and wint to live with my Ant Joanne in Bakersfeeld. Once Perl left, my life got better. And my vary best frend Joonyer came to live with us. He tot me how to rassle and have fun. Mao wuz arownd, but him an me never ixzaktly saw eye 2 eye we just keep owr distinss. Ixsept win we have to do bizniss together.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Hangin in the gutter, dreeming of Spicy Vixins. I din't have any Spicy Vixins yet; I just dreemed abowt them. Did a lot of nip.

5 snacks you enjoy?

1. Fish Flakes (thanks, Daisy!!!!)
2. Powderd Pit'r Pats
3. That's it.

5 songs to which you know all the lyrics?
Rocky Mowntin Hi
Wild and Untamed Thing frum the Rocky Horror Pikcher Show
Ketch 22 - Rocky
Rocky theem song
Rock this Town by the Stray Cats

5 things you would do if you were a millionaire?

1. Reetire frum the Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt Bizniss and take it eezy
2. Kidnap the vet man and have sumbuddy sit on him wile I put cold things up his booty
3. Buy the werld's supply of catnip
4. By a howse for Tripper on the other side of the planit
5. Take all the spicy vixins on a shopping spree to Viktoreeyus Seekrit
   

5 bad habits?
Hmmm, it's hard to narrow it down to just five, but heer goze:

1. Nip
2. Catnip Seegars
3. The peepul think I wine too much
4. Peein' inappropreeitly
5. Drawing blud win I go to the vet man's
   

5 things you enjoy doing?

1. Nappin'
2. Nippin'
3. Spicy Vixins
4. Making fun of Skeezy -- all in good fun
5. Eetin' baby food
   
   

5 things you would never wear again?
I uzhully let it all hang owt, and sumtimes I ware the Yankey cap (thanks, Jete'), but I kinda LIKE waring da Yankey cap and I ware it a lot, so I don't think thare's anything I'd never ware agin.


5 favorite toys?

1. Felt mousie
2. Paper bag
3. String
4. The Weejy Bord game that the man plays with me
5. Anything stuft with Catnip (ixsept not the catnip banananana that Trip wrekked cuz it has his spit and his grunjey furrs on it)
   

Two Tuxies in Desprit Need of a Home

This is a kross-post frum Zevo Calamari's blog. Two grate tuxies in the San Deeaygo area need a home and time is running owt for them. Heer's the storey:

Attention to all those who live in or near San Diego!

We are looking for a good home for these two nice cats. A member of Zevo's fan club has written with this request:

"I would like to know if you know any sites for adoptions for scared kitties or
anyone that would be interested in helping me out.. I have had these two tuxedos I rescued months ago. They are litter trained, spayed, shots, Advantage, de-wormed. I adopted out two already and am left with the two females. I have been socializing them, but they still need more.

"I visit them twice a day in a pool house on another property and they're running out of time. They need to be in a home with people. I found these kitties in the garden. I am looking for an inside only home with no dogs or little children. I don't know what to do at this point I have been trying for months on Craigslist and got nothing but flakes. I would keep them but I have two dogs that hate cats. "

Please Help!!!!!!!

suzi

Only those who are serious should use this email address
alan AT mrconstruction DOT com

If you know of anyone who can help please pass this on.

Thanks
zevo

So if yoo've always wunted to have a Rocky Boy or a DaisyMae or a Sadie of yer own, now's yer chanse!