Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Scattergories Meme

What is your name?
ocky the Gutter Cat

4 letter word: Rude

Vehicle: Rambler ===>

TV Show: Rockford Files

City: Reno!

Boy Name: Rascal

Girl Name: Rosie (rrrrr!)

Alcoholic Drink: Rum Runner (It helps loosen up the vixins. 'cept for Sadie and 'Sheba hoo don't need no loosening up!)

Occupation: Rock and Role Band Singer

Something you wear: Red collar (and it's the only thing I ware, vixins!)

Celebrity: Rock Hudson

Food: Rocky Rode Ice Kreem

Something found in a bathroom: 'Roid Kreem

Reason for being late: Rekked frum a nite of nip 'n' vixins

Cartoon Character: Rocky (of Rocky and Bullwinkle)

Something You Shout: Rocky is Reddy for sum Rockin an Rollin, Vixins!!!!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Blog Blast for Anastasia

As most of yoo know, Anastasia has bin missing for 4 days. Altho we can't help put up flyers or look for her, I thot we cood have a blog blast promoting one minit of hopeful purrayer and purrs and pawsitive thinking to help bring her home safe.

PLEEZE POST THIS ON YER BLOG to enkerije all the cats we know to pawtisipate. Then tomorrow, take one minit owt of yer day at noon PDT, 3pm EDT to focus as much pawsitive energy you can toward Tucson, Arizona.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Friday 14

As many of yoo know, after my last trip to the emerjinsy vet, I cut bak on my partying and guttercat ways. I mooved inside the howse frum owtside, and discuverd that I love sleepin and livin on the peepul bed. I do spend a littul time on the balkuney, but mostly I stay on the bed abowt 23 howrs a day.

Heer are 14 things abowt living in my new home on the peepul bed:

  1. Win I started livving on the bed, the peepul bot me stares so that it is eezy for me to git up and down. Beefore it was vary hard to git up cuz I can't jump like I used to. Now I just walk rite up!
  2. The peepul don't like me sleepin krossways on the bed. I have to sleep in the same direkshun they do. They put me in pozishun win they come to bed, and I stay in that ixzakt same pozishun until I wake up in the morning.
  3. On Saterday nites, after the lites go owt, the peepul wrassle with each other and thare's a lot of yelling. They don't rassle with me. I have to moove arownd so I don't git kikt off the bed. I hate Saterday nites.
  4. After she goze to sleep, the ladey has a sownd that comes owt of her face that sownds like a trane going thru the bedroom. I need eerplugs.
  5. The man has a trumpet up his butt that make sownds all nite long, espeshully win they had mexikun food for dinner. He waves the cuvvers win the trumpet goze off and a bad smell comes owt and if the ladey is awake she makes a sownd like a cow moooing. The trumpet is stinky.
  6. If the man eets watermellun for deezert, he has to git up in the middle of the nite and go to his litter box in the cold tile room.
  7. The ladey duzn't like it win my furrs git all over the bed cuvvers, so she bot the Furrminator and startid grooming me to git all my loose furrs owt. Then she puts them in the garbije.
  8. Mao is mad that I git to sleep with the ladey.
  9. Sumtimes at nite I can heer the vishus deer owt by my gutter, and I git up and watch them frum my balkuney.
  10. They put a big bole of water in the bedroom so I can drink during the nite, but it is not as good as drinking from my Petmate Water Fowntin wich is in the cat bedroom.
  11. The best part of my day is win the peepul git reddy to come to bed with me and they moove Mao and Skeez' owt of the peepul bedroom into the cat bedroom, and I GIT TO STAY!!!!! Mao reely bellows win that happens. But he's a bad boob walker and 5am yowler, so he can't sleep in thare anymore. BUT I CAN!!!!
  12. The peepul always say good nite to me and pet me beefore they go to sleep. This is nice.
  13. Beefore the ladey comes to bed -- win it's just the man and me --- I go up on the bed ware he is and we have one-on-one guy time together. And win the ladey comes to bed I moove down by the end of the bed so she can have one-on-one time with the man.
  14. Thare is a small blak box by the bed with littul peepul in it and myoozik. But yoo can only heer them erly in the morning. The Ladey duzn't like them. Win she heers them talking and making myoozik she hits the blak box HARD and then the peepul shut up. But only for abowt 10 minits. Then she whacks the box agin and they shut up. This goze on FURREVER!!!!! It is vary annoying.

Monday, August 13, 2007

It's like living in a spa

The peepul have bin pampering me ever sinse a cuppul of munths ago win they thot I had hart and kid me faylyer. So reesintly, the ladey bot a Furminator. She likes bying stuff on the innernets with ketchy names like that. She bot the Furminator becuz as yoo ladeez know, I'm a harey guy, and harey meens hareballs (I'm talkin abowt the kind yoo hock up, not the ones by yer Spot 13).

So the ladey started giving me massajes evry nite with the Furminator and WOW it's the gratest! I'm abowt five pownds liter cuz all my spare furrs are gone and my skalp is tingley. But it scared the bejezus owtta the wite rat win he saw all my furs in the trash. hehehe. I think he wet his pants. I watched him git close to the trash to snif all my throde away furs and then I wisperd "skeeeeeezix! skeeeeeeeeeezix!" and he jumped 8 feet in the air. HAHAHA! Well, gotta go. It's time for my Furminator massaje! THE END --- RtGC

My Balkuney

Heer I am on my balkuney. It's ware I live win I'm not sleepin on the peepul bed. It has a panuramik view of the driveway. It's also got indoor/outdoor carpet in it so that the slats in the balconey floor don't dent my furs, and the carpet gits warm in the sun so my joints don't git cold. Thare's plenty of room on my balkuney for almost ALL my spicy vixins! THE END --- RtGC

Saturday, August 11, 2007

I Pikt Sees No Evil

I pikt Sees No Evil for my munkeey. That's cuz he won't look at me win I'm with my Spicy Vixins. And he won't testify aginst me if I git in trubbul for nip cuz he can just say, "I'm sorry yer honor, I didn't see a thing!".

Thursday, August 09, 2007

My Reeding Tabul

Now that I live on the bed, I realize I've bin missing owt on a lot of grate reeding. Thare's always lots of pile of books and maguzeens by the bed. And win the New Yorker comes, the man and the ladey fite over hoo gits to reed it ferst. And then win thare thru with it, I git to reed it.

Mostly, I just look at the pikchers and the funeez. Thare are a lot of werds in the New Yorker, and uzhully I don't reed thoze. Cuz that wood be too tiring. I just had to share this ishoo with yoo becuz it had a cat storey in it!!!! YES! A cat storey!!!! I was just flipping pages, and thare it was, this spicy vixin, probly coming to vizit me!

I think she was krossing Deth Valley JUST TO SEE ME!!!! She was HOT!

Heer, I'll tern it arownd so yoo can see the next one.... she is kliming a mowntin!

And now I think she is at the top of Mownt Witney!

Now she is taking in the view and looking for Castro Valley:

Now she's movving west, down the Mownt Witney:

And heer I think she got a wiff of nip and she's running as fast as she can to Castro Valley.

But she has to find the BART stayshun ferst:

Do yoo think she'll make it? I'm gonna go owt on my Balkuney and see if I can spot her!

Don't yoo agree this was a vary good storey.... and vary intellekchewul too!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Da Munkeez Came!

Yesturday a box came. It had my name on it. Mao and Skeezy's, too. I got to reed the letter becuz I wuz werking in the offiss at the time:

The letter was nice an all, but I wunted to git to the mane eevent: da munkeez!!!!
Wich munkey do yoo think I will pik?????? ....stay tooned!

Life is grate .... thanks to da grate Jeter Harris!!!! Thanks, Jete!

Saturday, August 04, 2007

I'm not the werld's oldest cat!!!

Well, as most of yoo know, I've bin a littul deeprest lately abowt being old. Cuz being old suks. I have to go to the V-E-T a lot and I have to take lots of pills evry day, and I'm not as spry as I used to be. But I red a storey today that made me think that maybey I'm not a geezer after all. It was a storey abowt the cat hoo claims to be the werld's oldest cat. How old do yoo think the werld's oldest cat is? I was thinkin' maybey 25 or 27 yeers old, but I was off by A LOT! Terns owt the werld's oldest cat is more than twice as old as I am! >> Reed the storey heer. Yoo mite think this wood make me happy, knowing I've maybey got a lot of good yeers left. But then I started thinkin. I don't have a reetiremint plan or much any savings (unless yoo cownt "my stash"), and I reely don't wanna take pills for ANUTHER 20 yeers!!! Hmmm, thare's a lot to think abowt....

Friday, August 03, 2007


Today's the last day to submit yer winning gess in my 200th post contest. The last prize has bin added: a NIPAPALOOZA!!!! Whut's a nipapalooza, yoo ask? Why, enter and win and yoo'll find owt! Heer's how to enter!

Thursday, August 02, 2007


I think I've finely bin to evry singul site on the innernet. Now whut?