The Summer Interns are Heer!

Tonite, the summer interns shode up, and Mao --- hoo is in charje of the Summer Intern Program at Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt Werld Hedqwarters was noware to be fownd! Whuts up with that? MAO? YOO NEED TO GIT YER TUSH HOME THIS VARY MINIT! The interns are vary enthooziastik and eeger to git started, and I'm too sik and week to deel with them. Yoo can't see all of them in this foto -- thare are four interns and thare mom, wich is the biggest groop of interns yet! If yer intristid in joining owr intern program, we don't akshully pay anything, but yoo do git free snaks.

Widebody Wenzday

My faverit widebody, Sir Edmund, has a GRATE foto up for Widebody Wenzday, so yoo have to drop by and have a look. Be shur to bookmark it and if yoo start pakking on the pownds and yer peepul wunt to put yoo on a diet, show 'em Ed!

How to freek yer peepul owt

I've bin dividing my time between sleepin in the shower and sleepin on the man's desk. I diskuverd a funny trik to play on yer peepul. Go to sleep with yer eyes open and don't blink EVER. Freeks 'em owt evry time!

I offishully have an appytite

For brekfist this morning I ate two jars of baby food and part of a plate of Fansy Feest. Later I ate 4 more jars of baby food. Baby food is vary good. So I think I'm gonna start insisting on it. Spicy Vixin Sadie posted a git well foto on her blog wich had me standing at attenshun if yoo know whut I meen. And forchewnitly that Daisy cat hazn't bin bak to sing any of her syruping sweet git well songs --- kyoot kid, but she is NOT a singer (sorry, Skeez, but it's da trooth). I'm still spending a lot of time in the shower. Skeez' came and vizited me thare wich was hard for him becuz he hates water so much. But I like it. It's nice and cool and pryvit. Not unlike my gutter, wich they still won't let me go owtside to.

Feelin' Groovy

I am feeling better today. I got tired of being forse feeded, so I ate brekfist on my own. I'm still letharjik, but that's not much diffrint frum how I am all the time, anyway. The lady is konvinst I started to tern arownd once she put the majik water frum spicy vixin Halloween on me. The trooth is, I just don't wunt that Daisy singin' me any more of her happy songs.

Update

I have deesided I like sleeping in the shower, so that's ware I'm livving now. The peepul think I'm abowt to kik the bukkit, so thare letting me sleep ware I wunt. That's the good news. The bad news is that I'm still gitting forse feeded and having pills stuk down my throte. And speshul water frum Lourdes put on me that my vary speshul vixin Halloween sent. Also, sinse I'm livving in the shower, the peepul can't use it, so thare kinda stinky.

I don't feel like bloggin, but....

Skeezers sez that sum of yoo are werried abowt me, so heer's the deel:

1. I am being forse-fed baby food* evry howr. I hate this. It suks.
2. I am gitting antybiotiks and thigh roid pills twice a day. I hate this. It suks.
3. I am imprizzind in the howse becuz they are werried that I will wander off into the forest and not come bak. That's not ixzaktly troo. I just wunna sleep in my gutter and wate for spicy vixins to show up. So I hate this. It suks.
4. I keep gitting my tempracher takin. This is emberrissin. I hate this. It suks.
5. My deer deer Spicy Vixin Halloween sent me sum Lourdes water, wich gits put on me. The sentimint is nice, but the water thing suks.
6. The ladey and man know that maybe I shood be in the hospitul in an oxyjin tent with IV flooids and round-the-klok care, but I freek win I git sent to the hospitul and cawzes me a lot of stress and I'm a vary old geezer cat hoo just wunts to be left at home alone. So they are watching me vary carefully at home. I like that much better than the hospitul, but thare is still a lot that suks.
7. I jumped up high this morning. I like to soopervize the man's werk, so TWICE I jumped up onto his desk frum the floor. The man thot this was a good sine.
   

Thank yoo all for yer git well wishes. I'm going bak to sleep now.
____________________________________________
*Skeezer's frend Dr Daisy rekummended baby food, wich my ladey had fergottin abowt me liking.

In a funk Friday

Sinse my hart is inlarjed and my breething is vary vary fast and shallow and I have the feevers, I have to stay vary qwiet, wich isn't hard cuz I feel like krap. Thank yoo all for yer good wishes, espeshully frum my Spicy Vixins (and my faverite Spicy Vixin of all --- yoo know hoo yoo are). I hope to be bak running up walls and terning summersalts pritty soon.

Yer frend,
Rocky the Gutter Cat

Thigh Roid Thursday

I've bin feeling pritty krappy lately. And yesterday I just wuzn't up to eeting or drinking or pooping or peeing, so I just lade by my water fowntin and slept. The peepul started to git werried, so late last nite they pulled owt the torcher box, forst me into it, and drove me away in the bloo masheen.

We wint to one dokter hoo poked me in emberrussing places and told us that thare dokters left at 10pm, but that I wuz running a feever and had sum discharjes, so I shood go rite away to the emerjinsy vet. So we drove all the way to anuther cownty and wint to anuther dokter hoo took me rite in and put me in an oxyjen tent (but we wern't going camping) and started torchering me more. I didn't care. I felt poopy. They let the peepul come in and pet me and then they sent them bak owt. Thare were woofies and berdies thare, too, but I didn't have much of an appytite for berdies. After many many needul torchers, and many many howrs, they put me bak in the cardbord box and we wint bak in the bloo masheen and I wint home. And rite beefore we got to owr howse, a vishus deer ran tord the bloo masheen and tride to git me! Needless to say, I did not have my Mao & Rocky's VDR with me. Cood the nite have bin any werse???

The peepul were werried that I was going into renul and hart faylyer, and I had a feever and a fast hart rate and bad breething. But it terns owt, my kidmeez arn't so bad, but my hart is vary inlarjed and my thighroids are givving me problims wich I don't unnerstand becuz my thighs felt just fine. The peepul lookt like deth warmd over. I think I need to milk thare simputhy for all its werth. But don't cownt ole' Rocky owt, yet!

They took Skeez' and Mao away!!!!

The man taked Skeez and Mao away this afternoon in the bloo masheen and HE DIDN'T BRING THEM BAK!!!! I did sum investigayting and discuverd that they were shipt away to kitty prizzin. WE'VE GOTTA BRAKE THEM OWT!!!!! Evrybuddy: EMALE the prizzin and let them know that Skeez and Mao are being kept aginst thare will and they need to send them bak home!

Heer's thare emale adress: info@waghotels.com

Tell them that yer a frend of Skeezix and if they won't let him come home, at leest they can show him on a webcam with a copy of 2day's noozpaper to let us know he's still alive!

And need I reemind yoo that Mao is the branes beehind "Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt" and if sumthing happens to him, the cumpanny will probly go under!!!!

Hey Look! It's Skeezy!

Hey Look! Skeezy finely fownd his muther!

7 Randum Fax abowt Me

Ok, I've bin tagged by many of my spicy vixins to be part of this meme, so heer are seven randum fax abowt me:

1. I make egzaktly ONE sownd. And it's a reely annoying whine. I don't do it becuz I don't know how to make other sownds, I make it becuz it gits reezults. Like fer egzampul, to shut me up, the peepul will open more cans of catfood, and pik me up and cuddle me, and give me treets, and sprinkul nip on my planche' a griffe. If I had a spesifik "feed me" voice, I'd miss owt on all the rest. Pritty smart, huh?
2. Me and Mao don't egzaktly git along.
3. For the ferst part of my life I didn't play. Then Joonyer came along and he made me rassle with him. That was fun. Then I coodn't git enuf of playin'. I was deprest win Joonyer wint away, but after a yeer, Skeez started playin and rasslin' with me, and I slowly got bak to playin agin.
4. Win I play, I like to run up the walls and do a summersalt in the air.
5. My faverit toys are a) string and b) felt Tuff Mice.
6. Becuz of the problims with my thigh-roids and kid-mes, I eet a lot and drink a lot of water. I can eezily eet 6 or 8 cans of stinky goodniss evry day. And I pee huge briks.
7. I lernd that becuz of my problims with my thigh-roids and kid-mes, I can pee and poop anyware I darn well pleeze and they won't git too mad at me. They think I can't help it, but uzhully it's just becuz I don't wunt to walk all the way down the hall to the cat box.
8. And one more thing. I DO have a faverit spicy vixin. Do yoo think yoo can gess hoo it is???

Widebody Wenzday

This is Phoebe. I don't know why her name is spelt that way, becuz it's pronownst "Feeby." Phoebe is vary fluffy. She has wite soks in frunt, just like me. Yoo can find owt more abowt Phoebe and Tracy and Pablo and Monica in thare blog, "Pablo Fan Club." Pablo livs in Tazmania.

Tuxie Toozday

Even tho I'm grownded, the man still lets me help him play the peeyano. The peeyano is my faverit myoozikul instroomint becuz:

1. It is blak and wite like me
2. It has PEE in its name, and I PEE a lot
3. Win I press the DeeJay buttun, the peeyano yells owt "DEEJAY!!!!" reel jazzy-like, and that is thrilling.
4. It is eezy to play. Yoo just step on the blak and wite stiks and noise comes owt.