SHOWT!!!!

This is my entrey in Kimo and Sabi's JUMP and SHOWT kontest. Jumpin is a littul ruff with my arthuritis, so showtin is eezier. Have yoo enterd???? The dedline is May 31st.

RIP Bonnie Underfoot

Bonnie Underfoot has gone to the Bridge. Evrybuddy in my howse is vary vary sad abowt this. It makes me kontemplate my mortality. Or morality. I git the two confyoozed. Bonnie was a grate cat and a grate frend. I look forwerd to meeting yoo at the Bridge, B.U.

EEEEUWWWWW!!!!

So, I wuz layin' on the bed nappin' win I herd sumbuddy jump up on the bed. Immeediutly, I thot maybey Sadie or DMM or Fiona or Halloween or one of my other 80 spicy vixins had come over for sum luvvin. I love it win they come over for sum luvvin. So I rolled over and sed, "Hello Byootiful!" (I've lernd frum ixpeeriense that yoo use a term of endeermint insted of thare ferst names so yoo don't git yerself into trubbul!) But insted of a lushus spicy vixin, I was staring strate in the face of THAT PYSKO CAT TRIPPER!!!!! I got the heebey jeebeeze. Tripper is NOT one my spicy vixins. And I coodn't make him git down cuz he ways a millyun pownds more than me. So I wint bak to sleep. THE END --- RtGC

EMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK

This is Randy. He's the Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt Werld Hedqwarter's Employee of the Week. He's a reel go gitter. And he purrsunnully prodooses the stinky sekrit ingreedients that go into owr patented produkt. Randy, we saloot yoo!

EEEEEUUUUWWWWW!!!!!

Last nite win evrybuddy was in the peepul bed, that psyko Tripper was trying to klime over the gate to brake into the upstares. He was makin' so much noize that the man let him in for a littul wile just to show him we wern't havin' fun withowt him, we were just reedin' and sleepin' and stuff. Well, Tripper jumpt up on the bed and ran strate over to me and started KISSIN' ME!!! I was like, Dood!!! I'm a dood!!! Don't git all Karl and Ruis on me!!!! (not that thare's anything rong with that) And Trip is such an idiut he was just sittin' thare sayin' "What'd I do??" It's a littul imberrissing to reeport this insidint, but I wunted to make shur yoo mancats know that if yoo see Trip galluping toward yoo, run like the wind the other way cuz he's pysko and yoo never know whut he's going to do. THE END. --- Rocky the Gutter Cat