Trip an Rocky's Big Advenchur

TRIP: HI EVRYBUDDDY !!!!!! !!! !!!!!!! !!!!! !!! !!!! WOW it was GRATE to meet yoo all at the big berthday bash! I had a lot of fun mixing drinks and chasing moths and sorry abowt PUKING IN THE TREET BOWL I thot it was a planter or sumthing I'd never seeen KITTY GRASS beefore. Rocky sez its not the KIND YOO SMOKE. Me, I'm always SMOKIN' just like Jim Carrey sed in that MOOVEY was it THE MASK? I LOVE JIM CARREY and Jerry Lewus too. I'm on Rocky's blog today cuz THAY WON'T LET ME HAVE A BLOG OF MY OWN so me and Rock are gonna talk abowt owr big advencher that we wint on together to the VETS at Bullevard Pet Hospitul !!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!

ROCKY: Trip, remember whut I sed abowt not using evry singul color and font in existense???

TRIP: Oh, yeah. Sorry. Can I talk now Mr KNOW IT ALL???

ROCKY: Trip, yoo go rite ahed.

TRIP: OKAY. Well, the best part was gitting to SHOOT, ROCKY! I CAN'T BLOG IN ONE COLOR!!!!

ROCKY: If yoo wanna be on my blog, yoo hafta blog in ONE COLOR. THEMS THE ROOLZ.

TRIP: Sheesh. Well it started win they put me in this prizzin box that they BOT JUST FOR ME!!!! That meens they wunt to keep me! They dint have one that was big enuf so they got me my own and it is the best of all the prizzin boxes and IT EVEN HAS A MOONROOF!!!!!! Yoo can look owt of it just like I'm doing heer:



See, isn't it grate??? And we GOT TO RIDE IN THE BLOO MASHEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The last time they did this, my hoo ha's got stolen. So I thot maybe we were going to git them bak! Heer's Rocky and me, side by side: rode trip buds!


ROCKY: We were NOT rode trip buds.

TRIP: It wasn't ixzaktly a reelaxing drive cuz Rocky was moaning over and over and over "Draw BLUD! Draw BLUD!" It was kinda gitting on my nervs.

ROCKY: Yeah, for all the good it did. I nailed three of 'em and YOO didn't even ixtend a klaw or bar a tooth the entire time!!!!!!! Yer supost to be psyko yoo dimwit.

TRIP: Rock, I was having TOO MUCH FUN!!!!!

ROCKY: Whutever.

TRIP: And so the wite leg man sat down with me for a wile and sed soothing things to me like, "Tripper, buddy, how ya doin'?" I cood see NEERLY EVRYTHING frum my moonroof but Rocky coodn't cuz he had the old beet up geezer PTU. HAHAHAHAHAAHA!

ROCKY: Tripper, shutup.

TRIP: And they poked me and and stuk cold things up ware they shoodn't be stikking them -- rite arownd Spot #13.

TRIP: And they stikt needuls in me!



ROCKY: It was no piknik for me, eether. The man hoo was not the uzhual vet man stuk his tung owt at me and then shined a lazer beem into my eyes, wich led me to suspekt he cood be in kahoots with da vishus deer!!!! It's ok. He did not eskape unskaythed.

TRIP: We wzs in a room with lots of pikchers of that stuk up kranky cat hoo livs with us and that big eared sqweek toy: thare sellebrities! Did yoo know that? And the man in the wite kote sed I was a nice cat one of the nicest he's ever SEEN and win he sed that, the ladey sed, "Yoo wunt him?" HAHAHAHAAHA sumtimes she kraks me up.


ROCKY: I don't think the ladey wuz joking. And don't call me Rock. It's "Rocky". Heer's anuther torcher pikcher. It took 2 of them to hold me down. Pownd for pownd, that shoze yoo just how strong I am! I just kept thinkin thots of an afternoon surrownded by Spicy Vixins.


ROCKY: The werst part of the hole krappy day was on the way home, Tripper krapt and peed in his PTU. WAY TO GO, TRIP!!!

TRIP: Don't call me TRIP --- it's Tripper the Psyko Stray Cat to yoo.

ROCKY: It always makes me laff to see how fast the peepul can role down the windows win yoo evakyooate yer bowels inside thare car with the nice lether seets.

TRIP: I dint like that part. I got dookey on my booty. And on the rest of me, too. I got imberrust.

ROCKY: Dood, yoo were awesum!!! All of a suddin, the ladey was drivin' like she was at Maliboo Grand Pree. She rownded one of the korners on two tires!

TRIP: It was pritty stinky.

ROCKY: And then, win they got home, they had to immeediutly give yoo a bath.

TRIP: I don't think I liked that part. They gave my nice new box a bath, too. Even the moonroof got a bath.

ROCKY: But Trip, why in the Sam Hill didn't yoo use yer claws and skratch them to peeses win yoo got yer bath?

TRIP: Shoot. I dunno. Was I supost to? I was distrakted cuz I didn't wunt my nice new box to smell like dookie.

ROCKY: Whutever. I slept the rest of the day.

TRIP: I coodn't sleep. I wuz too izsited!!!!! I think the peepul wunt to keep me!

ROCKY: Time to sine off, Trip.

TRIP: Can I use colors?

ROCKY: Nope.

TRIP : Rats. OK then. Life is grate! Laffin an Laffin!

ROCKY: That's Jeter's line, Trip. Yoo need yer own.

TRIP: How abowt "Life's a Trip!"

ROCKY: That'll do.

My Prezint frum Kimo and Sabi

Yesturday was my 16th berthday. Thanks to evrybuddy for coming to the birthday party! I got sum prezints. One was a gift frum Kimo and Sabi to me AND Mao, but Mao was owtside and woodn't come in, so I wint ahed withowt him.


I red the note on Kimo and Sabi's prezint. It sed, "Deer Mao & Rocky - This should help you wif identifying some spicy vixins. Happy Gurl watchin from da balcony. Happy Purrthday! Love, Kimo & Sabi."

Hmmm. So far so good! But whut cood it be????

I unrapt it to discuver THE BEST PREZINT EVER: The Cat Butts Field Guide WITH cat butts inklooded! Kimo and Sabi reememberd that I'm a butts man. I love da big byootiful bootays!

So, I did a littul hit of nip and sat down to study..... as my deer frend Jeter Harris wood say, "I'm laffin an laffin'!"
I think maybe I'm not gonna tell Mao that we were ment to share this prezint!

Mopey Munday

I'll admit, I've got a case of the Munday Blues. Skeezix has bin a pane lately -- he won't let me git on the compyooter to vizit all my Spicy Vixins (in fakt he's bin akting even stranjer than uzhual, if that's even possible), and my 16th berthday is coming up and I think evrywun has fergotten it agin this yeer, even tho it mite be my last, AND nobuddy has inqwired abowt renting my gutter. Mao sed I shood set up a box next to the FOR RENT sine with a bunch of papers in it called "Take Ones." On the Take Ones yoo list all the grate things abowt yer gutter but yoo artfully twist the werds arownd so that bad things sownd grate. So like, it has this problim of gitting water in it wile yer trying to sleep in it becuz Mr Tinydik waters his lawn for many howrs at a time and the water goze in my gutter. So on the Take One yoo make it sownd like a reely grate feecher insted of a bad thing, like one of the following:

• Indoor pool
• Water feecher runs thru the property
• Awtomatik watering sistem

Mao sez that it's mostly just nozey naybers hoo take the Take Ones, but yoo only need one renter to take it and fall in luv with the place. So, I'm off to find owt ware I can buy a plastik box to put my Take Ones in. Geez, I didn't realize renting my gutter wood be so much werk.

Gutter for Sale or Rent

Yoo mite have to biggify this to see whut I rited on the sine.

Annownsemint

I'd like to make an importunt annownsemint.

I have deesided to live the rest of my life as an inside cat. So my gutter is up for grabs. If yoo wunt to rent it, let me know. If any of yoo Spicy Vixins are comin' by to hang with me, look up and I'll be on the balkoney above the garaje. I have a better view frum thare.

Just thot yoo'd like to know.

Come Hither

Heer's how I look win I've gottin a lot of nursin' frum my Spicy Vixins.

Tripper on Toozday

Tripper thretend to sit on me if I didn't let him use my blog to do Tripper on Toozday. Sinse I'm up to my eyeballs with Spicy Vixins nursing my hert paw that I injerd wile using the Crackberry (thanks, Daisy), I grayshusly invited Tripper the Psyko Stray Cat to post a foto for "Tripper on Toozday." Heer's whut Tripper has to say abowt this pikcher:

Gee THANKS ROCKY!!!! WHY CAN'T I HAVE MY OWN BLOG???? As yoo can see, I have grate fotos I can put up, and I'm looking espeshully big man catly espeshully waring the grate New York Yankeez cap that Jeter Harris gave me and maybe nows the time to point owt that I DO NOT USE STAREOIDS like that CHEETER BARRY BONDS I'm just big natcherully and let me just say, thare's a lotta me to love PARKER ARE YOO PAYING ATTENSHUN???? WATE I THINK I JUST SAW A MOTH..... GOT IT!!!! And yoo woodn't beeleeve whut a FREEK that littul wite Cat is he spended the hole day LIKKING A MAGNIT! I think Jeter Harris is my vary best frend in the entire werld. He's grate. LIFE IS GRATE. Wate, I think thare's more oh yeah: LAFFIN AN LAFFIN! See? I can blog! I shood have my own blog.

I herted my paw

I think the Spicy Vixins need to dress up in thare nurses owtfits and come over and take care of ol' Rocky Boy. I herted my paw this morning. It bleeded. The peepul got home frum the cherch thing they go to and saw the blud on my paw and they asked, "Rocky, what'd ja do to yer paw?" And I just kinda shrugd my sholders and din't tell them. They cuddled me and put sum hurty liqwid on it and tride to ixamin it and menshund sumthing abowt the V-E-T wich is always BAD NEWZ (ixsept if the vet givs me good psykadelik drugs). Skeezix offerd to put on his dokter's owtfit, but yoo know, he's just not the same as a spicy vixin. And he's a littul too eeger to put a thermomuter up my poophole. --- THE END --- RtGC

Tuxie Toozday

The good nooz is: I got my own compyooter!
The bad nooz is: The keys are too small.

Duz anybuddy know how to werk one of theeze?

My Pal Babe

Win it's reel hot, I hang on the balkoney cuz thare are sumtimes nice breezes that come up the hill and make me cool. The balkoney has a cat door owt to it, and owt thare is ware the litter boxes live in thare own howse. That way we can't smell Skeezy's stinkey poops in the howse. They put down this fake rug thing thare so the litter duzn't fall down onto the dek ... and it's a nice rug cuz it's just like grass ixsept unlike the frunt yard, the next door nayber dawg duznt krap on it. So I lay on it, next to the cat litter box howse all day long. It's nice. And better than laying in the gutter win peepul like Mr Tinydik are watering thare lons.

In this pikcher, my frend Babe has joined me. Babe is NOT a spicy vixin. He's not even a spicy dood. He's just a blob. He beelongs to the man's mom. Sumtimes Babe comes and hangs with me just to hang with the cool crowd. Sumtimes I'll wake up frum a nap and think maybe I'm lookin' at Sadie's bak end, but no, it's just a babe butt. I try to be nice to Babe cuz he used to be a ferul cat. At leest he's not psyko like that stoopid Tripper.

Feets on Friday

Sumbuddy gave Skeezix this toy and the man notist that the toy and me have idenikul feets. Whut doo yoo think of that?

Rocky's Male Bag

This is wut I got in the male tooday. It is a letter frum my frends at the porsha deelership inviting me to take a Cayenne owt for a test drive. This sownds like fun. Hoo wunts to go with me? A Cayenne sownds hot and spicy, just the rite car for a spicy vixin!

Dona Nobis Pacem

MadCat Munday

Today sukt. I sed more bad werds then I ever did in my life. Becuz today sukt. The man (hoo USED to be my buddey) put together my medikul rekerds (see abuv) frum the Emerjinsy Vet torcher place and he throde me into the box and took me in his lowd bloo masheen to the torcher place in Castro Valley. Let me tell yoo, it's bin a long time sinse I kust that much at one time. I thot the wite rat was gonna ixplode frum heering all thoze bad werds. The man told me we were just going thare for a short trip and we were coming rite bak home. BUT HE LIDE. Yes, my FORMER buddey lide to me, and left me thare so the torcher peepul cood torcher me sum more. I thot I wuz a gonner. They did all kinds of hurty things in my mouth and to my teeths and they stabd 10 foot long needuls into me and draned me dry of my blud. But they didn't suk the pee owt of me! In fakt, I reely had to go. They put me in the box, and then I herd a familyer voise - it was the lady. And even tho I had to pee, she just stade thare and blabd and blabd with the torcher place ladeys hoo took her plastik thing frum her and they were tawkin' abowt the wite rats' mannycure --- like hoo gives a poop????? --- and his blog until I wunted to yakk. FINELY we left and I got my reevenje! On the way home, I peed and peed and peed and the pee wint owtside the box and onto the ladey's lether seets and wool karpit in her bloo masheen. VIKTERY!!!!! And I sware, the man will never be my buddey agin. (Did I menshun today sukt???) --- THE END - RtGC

Man Cat Monday

Update on my cundishun

I'm holding steddy. I have a bit of a kold, wich has me sneezing kind of a lot, wich werries the peepul, and in tern, werries me becuz it offin meens I'll git shuvd into the prizzin box and taken to the torcher place. So the peepul are watching me closely to see if I git werse -- I git so freekt win they take me to the torcher place that they try not to take me thare unless it's absolootly nessessary.

In the meentime, I'm trying to trak Mao down so he'll come bak and manaje the interns. I can't run the hole bizness by myself, yoo know! Mao's alwayz sayin, "I'm an idea man -- the big pikcher guy. Yoo werk owt the deetales." Sownded good at the time, but reeely, it just meens that he duzn't do any of the werk. Maybe I'll save up my munneys to buy him owt.

Heer is a pikcher of the interns last nite. As yoo can see, thare vary entooziastik but not vary disiplind.

The Summer Interns are Heer!

Tonite, the summer interns shode up, and Mao --- hoo is in charje of the Summer Intern Program at Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt Werld Hedqwarters was noware to be fownd! Whuts up with that? MAO? YOO NEED TO GIT YER TUSH HOME THIS VARY MINIT! The interns are vary enthooziastik and eeger to git started, and I'm too sik and week to deel with them. Yoo can't see all of them in this foto -- thare are four interns and thare mom, wich is the biggest groop of interns yet! If yer intristid in joining owr intern program, we don't akshully pay anything, but yoo do git free snaks.

Widebody Wenzday

My faverit widebody, Sir Edmund, has a GRATE foto up for Widebody Wenzday, so yoo have to drop by and have a look. Be shur to bookmark it and if yoo start pakking on the pownds and yer peepul wunt to put yoo on a diet, show 'em Ed!

How to freek yer peepul owt

I've bin dividing my time between sleepin in the shower and sleepin on the man's desk. I diskuverd a funny trik to play on yer peepul. Go to sleep with yer eyes open and don't blink EVER. Freeks 'em owt evry time!

I offishully have an appytite

For brekfist this morning I ate two jars of baby food and part of a plate of Fansy Feest. Later I ate 4 more jars of baby food. Baby food is vary good. So I think I'm gonna start insisting on it. Spicy Vixin Sadie posted a git well foto on her blog wich had me standing at attenshun if yoo know whut I meen. And forchewnitly that Daisy cat hazn't bin bak to sing any of her syruping sweet git well songs --- kyoot kid, but she is NOT a singer (sorry, Skeez, but it's da trooth). I'm still spending a lot of time in the shower. Skeez' came and vizited me thare wich was hard for him becuz he hates water so much. But I like it. It's nice and cool and pryvit. Not unlike my gutter, wich they still won't let me go owtside to.

Feelin' Groovy

I am feeling better today. I got tired of being forse feeded, so I ate brekfist on my own. I'm still letharjik, but that's not much diffrint frum how I am all the time, anyway. The lady is konvinst I started to tern arownd once she put the majik water frum spicy vixin Halloween on me. The trooth is, I just don't wunt that Daisy singin' me any more of her happy songs.

Update

I have deesided I like sleeping in the shower, so that's ware I'm livving now. The peepul think I'm abowt to kik the bukkit, so thare letting me sleep ware I wunt. That's the good news. The bad news is that I'm still gitting forse feeded and having pills stuk down my throte. And speshul water frum Lourdes put on me that my vary speshul vixin Halloween sent. Also, sinse I'm livving in the shower, the peepul can't use it, so thare kinda stinky.

I don't feel like bloggin, but....

Skeezers sez that sum of yoo are werried abowt me, so heer's the deel:

1. I am being forse-fed baby food* evry howr. I hate this. It suks.
2. I am gitting antybiotiks and thigh roid pills twice a day. I hate this. It suks.
3. I am imprizzind in the howse becuz they are werried that I will wander off into the forest and not come bak. That's not ixzaktly troo. I just wunna sleep in my gutter and wate for spicy vixins to show up. So I hate this. It suks.
4. I keep gitting my tempracher takin. This is emberrissin. I hate this. It suks.
5. My deer deer Spicy Vixin Halloween sent me sum Lourdes water, wich gits put on me. The sentimint is nice, but the water thing suks.
6. The ladey and man know that maybe I shood be in the hospitul in an oxyjin tent with IV flooids and round-the-klok care, but I freek win I git sent to the hospitul and cawzes me a lot of stress and I'm a vary old geezer cat hoo just wunts to be left at home alone. So they are watching me vary carefully at home. I like that much better than the hospitul, but thare is still a lot that suks.
7. I jumped up high this morning. I like to soopervize the man's werk, so TWICE I jumped up onto his desk frum the floor. The man thot this was a good sine.
   

Thank yoo all for yer git well wishes. I'm going bak to sleep now.
____________________________________________
*Skeezer's frend Dr Daisy rekummended baby food, wich my ladey had fergottin abowt me liking.

In a funk Friday

Sinse my hart is inlarjed and my breething is vary vary fast and shallow and I have the feevers, I have to stay vary qwiet, wich isn't hard cuz I feel like krap. Thank yoo all for yer good wishes, espeshully frum my Spicy Vixins (and my faverite Spicy Vixin of all --- yoo know hoo yoo are). I hope to be bak running up walls and terning summersalts pritty soon.

Yer frend,
Rocky the Gutter Cat

Thigh Roid Thursday

I've bin feeling pritty krappy lately. And yesterday I just wuzn't up to eeting or drinking or pooping or peeing, so I just lade by my water fowntin and slept. The peepul started to git werried, so late last nite they pulled owt the torcher box, forst me into it, and drove me away in the bloo masheen.

We wint to one dokter hoo poked me in emberrussing places and told us that thare dokters left at 10pm, but that I wuz running a feever and had sum discharjes, so I shood go rite away to the emerjinsy vet. So we drove all the way to anuther cownty and wint to anuther dokter hoo took me rite in and put me in an oxyjen tent (but we wern't going camping) and started torchering me more. I didn't care. I felt poopy. They let the peepul come in and pet me and then they sent them bak owt. Thare were woofies and berdies thare, too, but I didn't have much of an appytite for berdies. After many many needul torchers, and many many howrs, they put me bak in the cardbord box and we wint bak in the bloo masheen and I wint home. And rite beefore we got to owr howse, a vishus deer ran tord the bloo masheen and tride to git me! Needless to say, I did not have my Mao & Rocky's VDR with me. Cood the nite have bin any werse???

The peepul were werried that I was going into renul and hart faylyer, and I had a feever and a fast hart rate and bad breething. But it terns owt, my kidmeez arn't so bad, but my hart is vary inlarjed and my thighroids are givving me problims wich I don't unnerstand becuz my thighs felt just fine. The peepul lookt like deth warmd over. I think I need to milk thare simputhy for all its werth. But don't cownt ole' Rocky owt, yet!

They took Skeez' and Mao away!!!!

The man taked Skeez and Mao away this afternoon in the bloo masheen and HE DIDN'T BRING THEM BAK!!!! I did sum investigayting and discuverd that they were shipt away to kitty prizzin. WE'VE GOTTA BRAKE THEM OWT!!!!! Evrybuddy: EMALE the prizzin and let them know that Skeez and Mao are being kept aginst thare will and they need to send them bak home!

Heer's thare emale adress: info@waghotels.com

Tell them that yer a frend of Skeezix and if they won't let him come home, at leest they can show him on a webcam with a copy of 2day's noozpaper to let us know he's still alive!

And need I reemind yoo that Mao is the branes beehind "Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt" and if sumthing happens to him, the cumpanny will probly go under!!!!

Hey Look! It's Skeezy!

Hey Look! Skeezy finely fownd his muther!

7 Randum Fax abowt Me

Ok, I've bin tagged by many of my spicy vixins to be part of this meme, so heer are seven randum fax abowt me:

1. I make egzaktly ONE sownd. And it's a reely annoying whine. I don't do it becuz I don't know how to make other sownds, I make it becuz it gits reezults. Like fer egzampul, to shut me up, the peepul will open more cans of catfood, and pik me up and cuddle me, and give me treets, and sprinkul nip on my planche' a griffe. If I had a spesifik "feed me" voice, I'd miss owt on all the rest. Pritty smart, huh?
2. Me and Mao don't egzaktly git along.
3. For the ferst part of my life I didn't play. Then Joonyer came along and he made me rassle with him. That was fun. Then I coodn't git enuf of playin'. I was deprest win Joonyer wint away, but after a yeer, Skeez started playin and rasslin' with me, and I slowly got bak to playin agin.
4. Win I play, I like to run up the walls and do a summersalt in the air.
5. My faverit toys are a) string and b) felt Tuff Mice.
6. Becuz of the problims with my thigh-roids and kid-mes, I eet a lot and drink a lot of water. I can eezily eet 6 or 8 cans of stinky goodniss evry day. And I pee huge briks.
7. I lernd that becuz of my problims with my thigh-roids and kid-mes, I can pee and poop anyware I darn well pleeze and they won't git too mad at me. They think I can't help it, but uzhully it's just becuz I don't wunt to walk all the way down the hall to the cat box.
8. And one more thing. I DO have a faverit spicy vixin. Do yoo think yoo can gess hoo it is???

Widebody Wenzday

This is Phoebe. I don't know why her name is spelt that way, becuz it's pronownst "Feeby." Phoebe is vary fluffy. She has wite soks in frunt, just like me. Yoo can find owt more abowt Phoebe and Tracy and Pablo and Monica in thare blog, "Pablo Fan Club." Pablo livs in Tazmania.

Tuxie Toozday

Even tho I'm grownded, the man still lets me help him play the peeyano. The peeyano is my faverit myoozikul instroomint becuz:

1. It is blak and wite like me
2. It has PEE in its name, and I PEE a lot
3. Win I press the DeeJay buttun, the peeyano yells owt "DEEJAY!!!!" reel jazzy-like, and that is thrilling.
4. It is eezy to play. Yoo just step on the blak and wite stiks and noise comes owt.
   

Thinkin' of Gizzy

Sinse I've bin grownded I've bin doing a lot of thinking. The last few days I've bin thinking of Gizzy. I sit on my Gizzy qwilt win I think abowt him.

Grownded

Man, now I know why Mao calls the wite rat a wite rat ... becuz he's a RAT FINK! We were just havin' a littul fun with him and had evry intenshun of giving him bak his stoopid sissy stuff evenchully (well, maybe not the nip that was in them Easter eggs cuz we made qwik werk of that), but he ratted us owt to the peepul and now we're in bad trubbul. And DMM and Sadie are mad at me for JUST HAVIN' A LITTUL FUN. I hope Halloween will come over and cuddle me, cuz I cood use sum luvvin. THE END -- RtGC

SCORE! Part 2

So me and Mao watcht Skeezy run arown lookin' for Easter eggs. He was vary ixsited. He even stood up on his hine legs to look for eggs far away. Whut a dweeb. He coodn't understand why me an Mao were just hangin', watchin' him do all the legwork.

Anyway, wile Mao played the lookowt, I got to Skeezix's Easter baskit and I opened up all the eggs and me and Mao took whut was inside. Stuff like nip and toys and Temptayshuns --- reely good stuff --- inclooding some stuff frum his best frends Dutchess and Gordy! And then we put the eggs bak together agin, and the wite rat never new the difrinse. He just thot it was a fun egg hunt. We do this evry yeer. He's a littul slow -- he hasn't cot on yet!

SCORE!!!!

No, not a baseball refrinse. Me and Mao have figyerd owt how to go thru the stuff the guy in the bloo shorts leeves evry day, and find the stuff adrest to the wite rat and konfiskate it. Like today. Gold mine. The wite rat's frends Boogers, Fido and Honda sent him a pawsome catnip pillow that was fild with primo stuff. Me and Mao inspekted that littul item until, qwite frankly, it was history. (If yooda smelt it, yoo wood have dun ixzaktly the same thing... it was sweet!) And thare was a Eester card frum that gerl Daisy for him. We're still trying to figyer owt whut to do with that! Maybe rite sumthing like, "Deer Skeezix, yer vary nice, but I want to be that big ManCat Rocky's spicy vixin." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is vary fun.

Butt Caps

Me and Mao interseptid a pakije frum Sabi and Kimo to the wite rat. It was a Giants cap: rite in time for Opening Day! I'm trying to start a noo trend: butt caps!

No news is no news

I haven't bin blogging much becuz not a lots bin happenin. I got in trubble for peein on the bathroom floor. HELLO???? It's the BATHROOM! So I blew chunks in the power strip. That wuzn't reel popyuler with the peepul eether. So, I'm just trying to chill and stay outta trubble. THE END --- RtGC

Woops

I kinda wint wild with the nip tonite and jumped on top of my tunnel box, and win I did, it IXPLODED!!!! I'm lukky I wasn't killd! Heer are the reemanes. Forchewnitly, the nip evvydinse was deestroyd too, so I won't git in trubbul with the awthoriteez. I'm bummd becuz I reely loved my tunnel box.

Widebody Wenzday

This is an arkive pikcher of my grate frend Joonyer. Him and me were sittin' on one of the patio chares ware we used to live in Sausaleeto. As yoo can see, his body kind of spills owt over evrything. Joonyer was a widebody frum the time he was a kittin.

He tot me how to play and how to rassle and how to have fun. This was beefore I had a harem to keep me cumpanny. We miss Joonyer. --- THE END - RtGC

Tuxie Toozday

Heer I am at my noo job. I help the man in the office win he's werking on his compyooter. I sit thare and soopervize. Soopervizin' is whut yoo do win yoo git to be a middul manajer and yoo don't akshully have to DO anything, yoo just watch other peepul do stuff. Win I git done soopervizin', I nap. As yoo can see, I'm vary good at it. --- THE END - RtGC

Phewie! Whut a St Patriks Day!

We sellubrated hard last nite for St Patrik's Day. I pincht all the gerls and Trip was with me ... we did a lot of my primo nip and ate a ton of greenies... it was GRATE! We dansed a danse called a jig wich makes yoo lite-hedded vary fast, espeshully after a lot of nip. Trip got blotto. I wasn't much better, but I dragged myself upstares, peed on the brand noo box that Rosie and Cheeto sent to the wite rat, and crawld into my tunnel box to sleep it off. Geezers can party just as hard as yoo yung-uns!!! Woot!

Git Well Earl Grey!

Got Stuk Saterday

Today I got stuk on top of thing called a "trellis" that covers the walkway at the side of the howse. I yowld and yowld and the ladey came and I think she was going to wate until the man came home to git me down, and I sed NO NO NO GIT ME DOWN NOW!!!! So she got the silvery ladder thing and got me to come by the end of the trellis, and grabbd me and put me on her sholder and wint down the silvery thing to the grownd, and I was so exsited to have bin reskyood that I frolikt! I did a littul jig and then I ran up the birch tree to sellubrate! THE END --- RtGC

Goodbye, Fudge Ripple

It is with a vary hevvy hart that I share the nooz that owr vary deer frend, Fudge Ripple (one of DaisyMae's Feeline Amerikans) was helped to the Rainbow Bridge yesterday at 2:15pm. Since DaisyMae is one of my spicy vixins (win she's not mad at me), I thot of Fudge Ripple as a bruther-in-law. Pleeze drop by thare blog to pay yer respekts. Fudgie was a vary gentle, sweet cat and we will miss him vary much.

Tabby Toozday

Well, it's my tern to give up my blog space for a day so that that Psyko Stray Cat Tripper can post a foto for Tabby Toozday. So heer it is. Yoo probly shoodn't look if yer yung and impreshunubul. In this pikcher, Trip is having fun with his gerlfrend, Tiger. Tiger is the only one hoo reely likes Trip, and she'll let him be as ruff with her as he wunts. Me? I have more respekt for the ladies than whut Trip duz, but then thare's sumwun for evrybuddy, rite? Tiger reely isn't spicy enuf for me.

Skeezix is Sik

My buddy Skeezix is sik. He's too sik to blog. The ladey brot him home in the prizzin box today and he wint to bed and he's bin in bed ever sinse. He won't eet anything. He duzn't even wunt to shop for kyoot owtfits on the innernet. But he hasn't throne up sinse he got home. He has to go bak to the vet man on Munday. They put flooids in him and giv him medisins. I don't have anybuddy to play with. I hope he'll be okay, sinse he's my only frend. THE END --- RtGC

Widebody Wenzday

This is Atlas, hoo is having I serjery today. Yoo may know Atlas frum the fame-us C Street Band. Let's hope he duz well: we luv ya, guy! If yer a Catster member, drop by his profile and leeve him a treet or a rozette, okay?

Tuxie Toozday

I'm testing owt all the ree-sykul boxes we have. This is similer to the other one (with 2 peeping tom holes), but it has sum neet stuff in the bottum, so it feels nice and livd in.

Skeezix got his tunnelbox bak

Skeez' is vary upset and his face is leeking, so I deesided to give him bak his tunnel box to make him feel better. I kinda like the cozy reesykling box with the peeping tom holes better, anyway.

Tuxie Toozday

Heer I am in the reesykul box. As yoo can see, it is not neerly as roomy and privit as my tunnel box, but it duz have a nice feecher: Peeping Tom holes on eech end. I keep tellin' Skeez', if this box is rokkin, don't bother nokkin'!

Hot Mama Monday

I got a fan male frum this cat. Her name is Halloween, and as yoo can see, she's one Hot Mama. She's a geezer like me. She sent Skeez' an emale with her pickcher and askt if he'd pass it along to me. Heer's whut she sed:

I tried to find an email address for Rocky, but I couldn't locate it. Could you please show Rocky my photo?

I am 15 years old. I like a man cat in a tux. I am named for the most important day of the year in San Francisco: Halloween. But I got this name because of the colors of my coat: black and orange. I was the runt (just like you, Skeez!) of a feral litter. I showed up in my human bean's back yard soon after I was born with my brothers and sisters. When my mom wouldn't feed me, my person took me in and gave me a nice place to live.

Tell Rocky that I sometimes try to stay outside because I liked it when I was a kitten. But I always come back in at night or when it gets too cold or rainy. I get very mad at my people when it rains and tell them to turn the outside faucet off in the clouds but they do not listen to me. Does Rocky ever get annoyed like this? I like climbing the big incense cedar tree in my back yard. I can do a few circus tricks on it.

Anyway, pass my photo along to Rocky & please and tell him I love nip if he wants to share!

Halloween

PS Now that I have a photo to share, I'll see if I can get my person to set up a blog for me!

Let me say agin that Halloween is ONE HOT MAMA and I can't wate to share my primo stash with her.

Bonnie's Meme

A) Four places I have lived:
San Fransisko
Oakland
Sosaleeto
Castro Valley

B) Four things I love to watch:
Monster Truk ralleys
Belching Kontests
Berdies
Stuff I can see frum the gutter

C) Four places I have been outside my home:
Gutter
Flower bed
Mulch (ware I krap)
Bullevard Pet Hospitul

D) Four websites I visit daily:
The Spicy Vixins forum on FOS
DaisyMae Maus' Blog
Sadie's Blog
Da grate Jeter Harris' Blog

E) Four of my favorite foods:
Toona
Dry krap
Fancy Feast Turkey in the green can
Raw hambooger

F) Four places I would rather be right now:
On my bench
An aviary
At Smitty's
In the arms of a spicy vixin

G) Four toys I have owned and played with:
The string
Felt tuffy mowse
Tunnel box
Whirlybird

H) Four nicknames my staff have tried to assign me:
Rockaroonie
The Rockster
Rocky Raccoon
Peeboy

I) Regarding Catnip:
Love it
It's nice
Could take it or leave it
Don't like it or can't have it
Answer: Love it -- as long as it's primo, and not skank weed that yoo woodn't try to pass off onto a three yeer old.

J) Regarding Cat Grass:
Love it
It's nice
Could take it or leave it
Don't like it or can't have it
Answer: Nun of the above. It's stoopid -- unless I find it in the wild

K) First four things I'd buy after winning the lottery:
A sqwillion planche a griffes
Nip
Smokes
Wimmin

L) Four things I do besides eat, sleep, and litterbox:
Spend time with my frends at the Caveman Crib
Blog
Poze for pikchers wile I'm sleeping
Bug the peeple at Rozerem abowt being in one of thare commershuls

M) Four things I want to do this summer:
I'm a geezer. I don't plan that far ahed.

N) My four most prized possessions that have limited value to anyone else:
My tunnel box
My planche a griffe
My bench
My tunnel box

O) What I’m going to do before tomorrow is over:
Sleep 23 howrs
Eet
Chek owt a few blogs
Shop for more Viagra on the innernet

P) Which of the following is your favorite place to hide and play?

Paper bags
Plastic bags
Boxes
Anser: Boxes. Thare good for peein' in, too.

Q) Four other "pets" your staff have kept with you:
Skeeze
Mao
That psyko stray cat Trip
The blak cat hoo sleeps in the garage

R) Four furiends I tag to respond:
DaisyMae Maus
Sadie
Jeter Harris
Bathsheba

Widebody Wenzday

This is Uncle Louie frum Princeton, NJ. I think that heer he is praktissing his Rocky the Gutter Cat impersunayshun. Yoo can find owt more abowt Uncle Louie heer.

Tuxedo Toozday

Mopey Munday

I'm vary deeprest. All my spicy vixins abandund me arownd VD becuz they were seeking meeningful 1-on-1 reelayshunships with other Big Man Cats. Well, I was down with that. I figyerd that they'd come skrambling bak to me wunse the shampane bubbuls went flat and they got a hankerin' for sum of ole' Rocky's primo nip. But no, no one yet. Maybe thare never coming bak. Man, that wood suk!!! So I went thru part of my primo stash all by myself, and past owt in the weeds (appropreeyut, huh). The man saw me and came over to see if I wuz breething. Even that didn't cheer me up. WIMMIN!!!

Widebody Wenzday

This is a widebody shot of that psyko stray cat, Tripper. They wade him last nite. He ways neerly 17 pownds, and he's a littul over a yeer old. He ways as much as me and Skeezix put together. That's widebody. THE END -- RtGC

Tuxie Tummy Toozday

OK, gerls, yoo wunna look at a Man Cat tummy? Heer yoo are! This is anuther foto frum win I was past owt on Saterday. I was that way for a long long time. THE END --- RtGC

Skeezie's bin serfing porn ... or has he?

Skeezy has bin beehaving vary oddly the last few daze. Then yesterday, win the peepul were at cherch, I notist that he'd be on the compyooter with his big noze rite up aginst the skreen, and then he wood run and git a drink of water and then go bak to the compyooter skreen. And he did this over and over agin for most of the morning. Well, since I'm the oldest and am kinda reesponsibul for him win the peepul are not in the howse, I wint to investigate. And I FOWND PORN ON THE SKREEN HE'D BIN LOOKING AT! So, I got closer and looked reel hard to make shur it was porn, and I snift to see if I cood smell any good smells, and then I lookt for the parentul kontrol button so that the peepul woodn't see that on the skreen win they got home and blame it on me. And then suddinly I realized that the porn ho on the skreen wasn't a porn ho at all --- it was Skeezy's speshul frend Daisy. (I didn't rekugnize her withowt her hot pokka dot spagetti strap dress.) So I left reel qwik becuz akording to Man Roolz, yoo can't be kot looking at anuther cat's porn ho, espeshully win he's her speshul frend. Sorry, Skeez, my bad. THE END --- RtGC

Good Party

I had a vary good time at Beau Beau's party. Sadie brot sum home-grone, and man, was it primo. Heer is how I spent the day today. THE END --- RtGC

Widebody Wenzday

Me on my Planche a Griffe:



THE END -- RtGC

Tuxie Tummy Toozday

Well, yesterday I got up on the desk. And it reeqwired so much effert that then I had to take a nap. THE END --- RtGC

Tabby Toozday

We're taking terns letting Trip post pikchurs on owr blogs so that he can become an innernet sellebrity, too. So this week it's my tern. This is Trip with his Valentine's Day foto. As if that psyko stray cat cood git a gerlfrend!

Jeter Harris put me on his blog!

Today, da grate Jeter Harris feecherd me on his blog!!! So whut are yoo wating for --- go rite over there and look!