What duh ....?

So Mao was krankier than usual this morning. I think his kranky pants were givin' him a wedgie. Wich meens he was VARY LOWD. An uzhully I don't choo the fat with him cuz he bums my high, but this morning I had to ask, "Whut's up wit choo?" And then I got the news. Sinse Skeez is a Catster lackey now, I CANNOT ENTER THE SLEEPER CATEGORY OF THE WERLD'S COOLEST CAT CONTEST THIS YEER!!!! I have bin praktissing and praktissing gitting my sleepn' skills down so that I can DOMINATE the category only to lern that I can't enter. I wun that category in 2006 (forchewnitly, werd got owt abowt Gordy's illegal use of the Photoshop Kyoot Filter), and I was a finalist last yeer, and this yeer, with lots of praktiss, I was shur I cood go all the way. I OWN THAT CATEGORY, MAN! I meen, nappin', it's whut I DO!

I need a vixin fix.

Oops. I did it agin.

Well, ladeez, I did it agin. I managed to skore a finulists spot in Catster's Werld's Coolest Cat Contest. As yoo all know, I eeked owt a win in the sleeper category last yeer, wich I was shur I didn't stand a chanse in cuz Gordy sumhow got hold of Photoshop's kyoot filter but sumhow a mirukul occurred and I beet him... but this yeer he's gonna take away Skeezy's krown in the Costoooms and Shades category with his grate stuntman owtfit. HAHAHA! Take that, Skeez!

But even tho Gordy (thank dog) is not in my category, I still have stiff competishun. Fur ixzampul:

and

So once agin this yeer, I'll have to put in my sorry plee for yer vote for Best in Show. Heer are the reezins yoo shood vote for me insted of Skeezix or Mao or Trip or any of the other entreez:

1. I'm an old geezer cat. This may be the very last kontest I ever git to enter.
2. If I win, win I'm having my pee problims, I'll be abul to think of thoze happy daze win I was the Werld's Koolest Cat, and it mite take my mind off the pane.
3. Skeezix is only 2 3 yeers old, and he has abowt 20 19 more chanses to enter agin before he dies.
4. I pee a LOT, and that meens both freeqwintly and qwantitativly. So I need that yeer's supply of cat litter more than Skeez.
5. Skeezix can go enter a cat show if he wunts to win sumthing. I'm a no-papers mixed breed frum the pownd hoo can't enter cat shows.
6. Did I menshun that I'm an old geezer cat and this may be the very last kontest I ever git to enter?

I'm a Winner!

I was shokt to lern that I won the "Sleeper" category in Catster's Werld's Coolest Cat Kontest. Well, I wasn't shokt abowt the sleeping part, becuz it's the third best thing I do next to luvvin' and nippin'. I was shokt becuz Skeez's frend Gordy didn't win the category -- he's the one I akyuzed of illeegully using the Photoshop Kyoot Filter. In fakt, I'm surprized Gordy didn't win the hole kontest. One of the things I won was a ConAir Pro clipper set, wich meens I can persunully give Mao his Lion cut next summer, hehehe. THE END --- RtGC

OK, I admit it, I'm a frisky geezer

The Food Lady busted me on making owt like I'm on deth's doorstep just to get more votes in the Werld's Coolest Cat Kontest, so she made me put up a foto showing me playing so yoo'll see that I'm frisky and spry. This was taken just before the man fixt the tunnul box so that it won't collapse win Skeez jumps on top of it. This is a grate box. It has holes (like windoze) cut in the sides so we can poke owr arms thru. The lady pinned a tinsel toy to the seeling, wich is whut I'm batting at with my paw. Me and Skeez play in the tunnel box at leest an howr evry nite. He runs into the tunnel, and I poke at him frum owtside, and he pokes at me frum inside. THE END - RtGC

I'm a finulist

Me and Skeezix are both finulists in Catster's Werld's Coolest Cat Competishun. I have TWO fotos that made it to the finuls. Both are of me on my bak, wich is appropriut, since that's ware I am most of the time if I'm not peeing or eeting.

Yoo can only cast one vote for Best in Show, wich makes it hard! Now, I know yoo all wunt Skeezix to win, but let me put in my sorry plee for yer vote:

• I'm an old geezer cat. This may be the very last kontest I ever git to enter.


• If I win, win I'm having my pee problims, I'll be abul to think of thoze happy daze win I was the Werld's Koolest Cat, and it mite take my mind off the pane.


• Skeezix is only 2 yeers old, and he has abowt 20 more chanses to enter agin before he dies.


• I pee a LOT, and that meens both freeqwintly and qwantitativly. So I need that automated catbox more than Skeez.


• Skeezix can go enter a cat show if he wunts to win sumthing. I'm a no-papers mixed breed frum the pownd hoo can't enter cat shows.


• Did I menshun that I'm an old geezer cat and this may be the very last kontest I ever git to enter?

So pleeze, vote for me. Or vote for Skeez if yoo must. But VOTE!

And if yoo vote for me, I rekummend voting for my "Stretch and Yawn" foto becuz I think the sleeper categorey is sewn up by an upstart kitten hoo illegully yoozd the Photoshop Kyoot Filter. THE END --- RtGC